REVEREND FATHER

Hey y'all, what's good? First of, let me say that this post might be upseting to some people but I am a catholic. Baptised, holycommunioned and confirmed. So this ain't no hating business.
A couple of years ago when I got into UNIBEN, I lived in the school hostel *shakes head* You know how it is. Anyways, during my second year, my cousin Mimi and I got an apartment in Ekosodin. We had a couple of house rules that we both had to follow but the rules didn't even matter cos we both knew each others likes, dislikes and limits. Mimi was very active in church and she was friends with the reverend fathers. So I was kinda surprised when she came home with this guy one day. She introduced him as father Vincent and I was also kinda shocked because he didn't look like a reverend father to me. He was really young and cute and didn't have none of those collar thingy (I forget the name). So, we all get talking and like I said, he wasn't like no reverend I had ever met. When it started to get dark, I began to wonder when he was going to leave because Ekosodin is not a place where you want to be moving about at night. I looked over at my cousin.

ME- Mimi, can I talk to you for a sec?

MIMI- Sure. Excuse us father Vincent

We walk over to the bathroom.

ME- Mimi, time don dey go o. When father Vincent dey go?

MIMI- (looking sheepish) Err....I didn't tell you before but ehm....I told father Vincent that he could ehm spend the night here.

ME- Because of wetin? Why will he stay here? What happened to the parish house?

MIMI- well, since he came here on personal business, he can't stay in the parish house and he doesn't have anyone here.

ME- So? Okay, even if he was going to spend the night why didn't you tell me so I could go over to Ruthie's place...

MIMI- And leave me here alone with him? No o! I just thought that at least with both of us in the house, nobody will say anything

ME- And you didn't tell me about it at all? I don't like this o Mimi. I don't like it.

MIMI- I beg na, I nor go do am again.

So we went back into the room and gisted until we all fell asleep. I don't know how long I had slept for before I began to feel it.
"It" being someone's fingers. Inside of me. I tell you, I thought I was dreaming. Until I started hearing all these grunts. I don't know about you but my dream men, do not grunt. lol. So I woke up but laid still. Then I began to understand what the heck was going on. Father Vincent was.....you knowing me! I screamed at him.

ME- What are you doing?

FV- Nothing....just....I saw a...an ant going into your dress so I....

ME- You saw an ant going into my dress, so what were your fingers doing in....there?

FV- I didn't mean to touch you.....it just called out to me. All i wanted to do was help

At this time, I looked down at FV's pants and it was bulging like crazy! I look at my cousin and she was sleeping so deep that you would burn the house up and she would sleep through it. I look at the time and it was 2am! I looked back at FV

ME- (sigh) Just...stay away from me. I'll pretend this never happened. just stay away from me. I'm gonna go back to bed now...

FV- I'm sorry, i didn't mean......

ME- Wharever

WTF? So i went back to bed. I didn't really sleep deep, just in case. and really a couple of minutes later when I guess i started breathing deeply like I was asleep, guess what? I felt the reverend's hands sliding up my waist. Initially, he was hesistant but when I didn't move, he grew bolder. I waited until I could actually catch him in the act. But this time, he actually had the guts to hold my boobs! I turned around and slapped him so hard, he actually jumped off the bed.

ME- Are you crazy? craze dey worry you for head? or did you see another ant?

FV- No, I....

ME- Shut up! You pervert!Oh my God!

FV- sssshhh. please lower your voice

ME- Which kind lower my voice? i should even be throwing you out of my house right now. How dare you call yourself a man of God and try to molest me!

At this stage, i was screaming so loudly, my cuz woke up

MIMI- What's going on?

ME- Ask your reverend! Imagine him putting his hands on me

MIMI- Heh? You say wetin? He touch you?

Trust me, but my cuz angry, is not a sight you want to behold. it was just as though all the sleep left her eyes and she got up and held him by his shirt.

MIMI- HOW DARE YOU! I brought you into my house and you have the guts to lay your hands on my sister?

FV- No....no...it's not what you think....i can expla....it was the devil! the devil was....

MIMI- Shut your ass up you dolt. which devil? By the way, what exactly did he do?

At this stage, i was feeling sorry for the pervert cos my sister was about to scratch his eyes out.

ME- Errr...when i woke up he was touching my boobs.....

MIMI- HE WAS TOUCHING YOUR WHAT?!!!

Next thing i knew she was hitting him like a mad woman o! I even had to protect the guy from her. After a little while, she went into the kitchen.

ME- Mimi, what are you doing? don't even think about it.

As i turned to warn the asshole, what i saw was his car lights as he left. That made me laugh like a mad woman o! when my sister came back, she had a knife with her.

MIMI- Why u dey laugh? you think this is funny heh? where is that dog?

ME- the dog don run. i beg give me knife jare. wetin you for even use am do anyway?

MIMI- He get luck say he run. Idioooooooot. na only your breast he touch abi?

ME- Errr....yes. i wake up quick

MIMI- Good. he get luck o! If say he touch anywhere else, i for go report am for church. abi you want make i still report am?

ME- no, just let am go.

That was the last we heard of father Vincent. That guy was a lucky ass dude cos my sister is spitting wafarian crazy. This cracks me up every time.