March 25, 2009


My phone rang this morning and it was a friend of my mother's, Aunty J. I was kinda surprised because she had never called to speak with me specifically. I knew then that something was not right.

Me- Hello

Aunty J- Hello? Bibi, it's Aunty J.

Me- Oh, hi Aunty J. Do you want to speak to ma?

A.J- I wanted to talk to you

Me- Okay, but is everything okay?

A.J- Err...not really. Nene tried to kill herself

Say what?!! Nene. Tried to kill herself. Ok, backtrack. Nene. Aunt J's little girl. About yea high, almost 14 years old, cute little girl who follows me around whenever she sees me. Loves putting on my jewellries and make-up whenever she's over at the house. Nene. Tried to kill herself.

Me- Oh my God. Is she alright?

A.J- (sounds exhausted) Yes she is. At least for now she is.

Me- Oh my God. What did she do? What happened?

A.J- She said that she was in the caffeteria in school eating when this girl took her food away from her and told her that she didn't need anymore food because she was already too fat.

Me- Are you serious?

A.J- Yes o. She took her food away from her and my Nene came back home and drank the whole bottle of bleach in the bathroom.

Me- Oh my God.

A.J- See me my dear o. I have been running from hospital to hospital for the past week.

You have got to be kidding me! Too fat?!! The poor girl can't even be described as plump! you know that stage we girls go through were we start growing breasts and our tummy's are still "poking out"? thats the stage she's at right now. So what the hell does this little bitch mean by "too fat"?

Me- Oh my God, Aunt J i'm so sorry.

A.J- Thank God abi? That she's still alive. See me o Bibi. The only child God has given to me. And now she wants to die? God forbid. Anyways, i wanted to ask a favor from you

Me- Anything ma

A.J- Well, you see i was wondering if you could spend some time with Nene and talk to her. Maybe a day or so. She's already in therapy but i just feel that she needs somewhat of a role model and since she knows you very well and although you're not a skinny girl, you're doing very well for yourself. i just thought that she might need someone like you know, show her how to feel beautiful in her own skin. you know...

Me- Of course Aunt J. No problem.

A.J- Okay.

OH MY GOD. This is just too freaky for me to handle. I just still can't grasp the idea that Nene was trying to kill herself. But what else was she drinking a bottle of bleach for? Not skin bleaching obviously. She always keeps to herself but i never thought she was depressed. i just thought that maybe she was shy or something. But she's such a sweet girl. Always complimenting my hair, clothes and all that. And so pretty too. It's such a shame. Well, i hope i can help her really. Maybe get her to see that having some flesh on your bones is not that bad. Just as long as you're healthy.

For some comic relief
This whole thing had me thinking back to those days when I was growing up. Our house was not your typical family. My grandmother never liked her house to be empty so she somehow had all her children leave their kids with her. It started out with just school vacations when we came to spend the hols with her. Before you knew it, we were all living there. A total of 16 of us. Amongst us was a cousin of mine Becky. Her situation was different because her parents just got seperated because of her mother's unfaithfulness. And this really scarred her because she apparently begged her mother not to go but the woman don already get anoda bobo for outside so she just walked out on her husband and kid. Anyways, when Becky's dad brought her over to live, she was about 17 years old and very depressed.But we never knew just how depressed she really was. Until one day when we were all in the living room. Miracle ran in

Mir- Mama! Mama! Becky wan kill himself o!

Mama- Wetin u dey talk?

Mir- Becky wan kill himself for kitchen! she don carry knife O!

Mama- Heh heh? she won die heh? Okay

We all run to the kitchen to see Becky standing by the door holding a knife to her stomach crying.

Becky- Leave me alone! i want to die!

Mama- You want to die. See your mouth you selfish girl. I blame you? Baaastard. (imitating Becy) I want to die! I want to die! who dey hold you? But i beg, before you kill yourself commot for my kitchen. I just change this carpet last week. i never even pay for am finish before you want pour all your blood put on top so. see person when wan even kill himself. (hiss) you nor know say knife dey pain abi? make you go climb upstairs near the water pump make you jump. that one na one go. you go just die like that (snaps fingers). Bibi! make you and Tracy pack una things from that downstairs room enter Becky room.

Becky- But...but

Mama- But wetin? You think say you dey punish anybody? If you die, i go cry small but life dey go on abi? i go just kukuma go carry that boy when dey stay Mary house come here since we go get that extra room now. Oya Ehi, open the backyard door make she take go climb go upstairs. Becky okay now bye bye.

Mama goes back to the living room and sits there shaking her left leg like she does when she's angry.

Mama- Ehi! you don open the door for am?

Ehi- Yes mama

Mama- so wetin una still dey do for there? heh? Una want make he transfer he suicide spirit enter una? (hiss) you better come here now before i go throw you downstairs too.(hiss) Baaaaaastard.

We all left Becky in the kitchen that evening and let's just say that was the first and very last day she mentioned killing herself. Now, she's planning to get married in a couple of Yep. i know, my grandma is crazy. But we love her that way.


BSNC said...

yess i am first

BSNC said...

i hope the nene girl will be okay. your grandma is funny. that is something my grandma ll say too. she for jump now lol

Bibi said...

BSNC haba. give me some time now. lol. nor mind the girl. she nor gree jump

yankeenaijababe said...

Wow, your blog the picture and where have you been all this while. U are truly welcomed, just updated the list. Yeah!!!

Lolia said...

Awwww poor thing...I remember when I used to hate myself for not being as skinny as some of my friends...I never tried anything like that though...She'll grow out of it and gain the world of self-confidence soon. It happens with age. Hope she feels better soonest though...

JustDB said...

Reverse psychology from Mama...Brilliant...Guess the Nene story brinngs into focus again the need for us to be careful about what we say to people. They just might be at the tipping edge and one wrong word might just sent them crashing downhill...

P.S. Methinks you should update my link on yr blogroll to the wordpress one...
Rgds.. JustDB

Good Naija Girl said...

Your Mama makes me laugh...her reverse psychology totally worked (naturally!).

I too hope that Nene will be ok, and I'm sure that you'll be able to help with her recovery process. Gosh kids can be so cruel, and some bully types never know the effects of their words.

I know your Aunt was upset and had a lot on her mind but can I admit that her comment "and although you're not a skinny girl, you're doing very well for yourself" made me groan a bit? I mean this is the whole problem: what does your weight have to do with your doing well for yourself?

However, the important thing is that Nene looks up to you and you've committed to talking to her, and for that I'm very happy.

Repressed One said...

aww eh ya... hope you are able to further help Nene :(. That's real sad.

LOL@ Mama

Au Naptural said...

Whoa! I've never laughed and cried so hard from one post.

Kids, adults, people can be very cruel! I've been right where Nene is as a child and it took a lot of love and support from family and friends to teach me how to love myself. Keep talking to her, she will listen.

As for Mama, ain't nothing like some old school tough love to make you feel foolish and rethink the whole thing. LOL!

@ Good Naija Girl: I cringed too when I read the "you're not a skinny girl" part.

Afrobabe said...

Awwww poor Nene....she really neds to be taught how to be tough, I think her mum has over sheltered and over protected her.teach her how to be naughty and how to talk back...

Shubby Doo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shubby Doo said...

omg this just sent a chill down my spine. bleach ke? i remember reading this book called 'an inspector called' about a woman who committed suicide by drinking a bottle of bleach

May God guide Nene thru this...i hope she comes to understand that she is beautiful as she is and she will continue to grow in beauty...she needs to understand that others do not define her but that she defines herself…

bibi i think you have to be there for more than a day sweetie

i love what your mama did for becky...see wisdom of ages!!!...if you don't value your life why should i?...people forget this life is God's gift to us...things that happen to us here that seem like obstacles are not insurmountable…we can get through anything and everything thru his grace. AMEN

simeone said...

lol..can this be referd to as tough luv..?.i'm wonderin what mama wld hav said had the beki actually taken the jump..

blogoratti said...

Good thing her attempt was quickly discovered -some others have not been that lucky..
We live in a tough world,really. Depression can be very fatal as it oftentimes than not progresses into suicidal thoughts. Parents really need to get closer to their kids-kids who need to be reminded regularly the reasons why we live in a tough world.

scribble, said...

lol...your grandma called her bluff! but shii..i guess with age comes wisdom cause me i wouldnt have played it that way.

Nene is in my prayers, I hope you can bring her back

doll said...

wow..hope she is ok...cildren are quite mean to one another

Anonymous said...

Hope the chic is much better now, LMAO at Mama, reminds me of the fun i had staying and schooling in Edo, very funny people.

Anonymous said... think I've been suicidal to kill maself cuz of babe...loooong story for another I look back and I just laugh at the sheer stupidity of it all....I jus pray Nene will one day look back on that day and laugh as well...

Anonymous said...

Hmmmn........I don't know what to say about that. but My questions is, is she in America?

The poets voice ~~~ said...

OMG hope Nene is alright?I'm sure you'll do just fine talking to her.

Your grandma is funny. Dat's the tough luv of grandmothers, which really is showing love with wisdom!

Original Mgbeke said...

LMAOOOO. Trust Naija parents/grandparents. They show us mad tough love and when you think back, you appreciate them for it. None of that coddling and indulging us when we are acting silly. Hehehehehe...

But it's sad to hear about Nene. I hope that you can encourage her o, na wa sha!!!

yankeenaijababe said...

I can't believe I read the whole post, reminds me of a Naija scene where girl want to kill herself and everyone rushes in. I can imagine, ur childhood story of grandma wanting all grandkids with her sounds similar to mine. Hope u are doing greag

Bibi said...

YANKEENAIJABABE- thank you jor!

LOLIA- i have so. for her sake i really do

JUSTDB- Mama is a very brilliant and i will update it rite about now.

GOOD NAIJA GIRL- That made me groan too but i'll forgive her because of her state of mind at that time

REPRESSED ONE- i hope i do too. thanks

AU NAPTURAL- you just gave me some new hope. thanx

AFROBABE- my thoughts exactly! by the time i'm done with her, no body will talk trash to her again for fear of getting cut by her reply

SHUBBY DOO- i know what you mean o! i can't even kill myself with ordinary panadol talk less of bleach. and i know it will take more than a day but we have to start somewhere abi?

SIMEONE- she would have shook her head, hissed and said "stupid girl". and then cried some. lol

BLOGORATTI- preach on pastor! preach

SCRIBBLES- hey babe. so you pray huh?

DOLL- true word

SPREZATURA- lol. yep. mama also had a little edo blood in her.

CHARI- because of babe ke? i beg o. i'm glad you came to your senses. but i hope she will too

NIGERIAN FETISH- nope she's from Nigeria. Igbo to be exact. lol. i knew i would get that question.

THE POETS VOICE- yeah, she's okay. thanks

ORIGINAL MGBEKE- na wa oh! i hope i can make her see reason too o!

YANKEENAIJABABE- i'm doing fine and thanx for stopping by.

Preciate your input people!!!

Buttercup said...

if only ur grandma knew nene..

thats sad tho..

Confessions of a London gal said...

LMAO Your grams fit kill person with laughter o! I cud just imagine me mum doin smth like that! Lol

Omo Oba said...

lol!!! ok this has got to be one of the most funny, most utterly crazy yet real story on blogville. your grandmother is one wise sage! Good to know Becky is doing well.