Hey y'all, what's good? or not. lol. Guys!! i'm sure every girl at one stage or another in her life has sworn of them. Well i kinda have right now too but still, they never cease to amaze and amuse me. This whole thing was brought on yesterday when i was on my way from work. I was walking to the bus stop when this dude parks his car by the sidewalk and jogs up to me. He said hi, i said hey and kept on walking. Still, dude introduced himself and the very next words out of his mouth were "you are the most beautiful i have ever seen". Boy, was i disgusted. I don't know why some guys feel that paying a girl ridiculous compliments the very first time they meet her is cool. But i have a piece of advice for these ones, it is an immediate turn off. For me at least. lol
Anyways, back to my story. i looked at this dude
Me- Excuse me?
Big mistake on my part. This only made him run into a litany of how he had been seeing me around for a long time and how he had wanted to talk to me and all that long story. (Let me just say right now that i was already in a very confrontational mood before i even met this guy). Dude kept on talking and talking and before i knew it, he broke the no 1 rule. he said "i've been in love with you for a while now". Are you serious? i almost burst into laughter but i decided to take another route.
Me- so...what exactly do you hmm like about me?
Dude- well, like i said you are the most beauti....
Me- yeah yeah, i heard that part but what exactly do you think is beautiful about me?
Dude- for one, your eyes are very sparkly
Sparkly? Sparkly? Dude please.
Dude- and your lips look very succulent
Me- just like strawberries right?
Dude- hmmm hmm. plus your hair looks so silky
Me- you never seen a weave before?
Dude- well, your skin looks like a rose's petals
What the hell? Rose's petals? how in the world would you know that? i have about six layers of clothes in this cold
Dude- you turn me on
Me- so would porn
Dude- i love your curves
Me- so, get a teddy bear
Dude- you make me feel like a man
Me- so would viagra
Dude- i think of you all through the day
Me- do you want me to pick up some job applications for you?
Dude- funny but really. i even think of you at night too. i mean, i feel as if you were made for me
Me- seriously? are you sure you wouldn't be happier with made in China?
Me- never mind
I tell you, dude was still about to go on but i just had to cut him short. it was that or shoot myself. That was by far the worst set of lines i have ever heard. when i got into my bus i started to think about it. I mean, dude was not a bad looking guy at all. tall, dark, handsome, nice cologne but his ultimate sin was unforgiveable. Damn. a word of advice for the guys, a simple "you look beautiful" would suffice, thank you very much.
Moving on to another guy episode, i have to say that karma's a bitch but i love her. lol. On saturday, i was at the mall. the winter weather had taken a chill pill and a hint of summer was out. i quickly donned on some sexy summer clothers and grabbed a pair of sandals because i was so determined not to spend such a beautiful day in. So, i was looking through the window of Ashley Stewart when this voice goes "excuse me". I turned around and it was HIM. (HIM being my 1st crush ever) "Yes?" i replied. but of course i knew it was him. How could i ever forget those eyes. Those eyes that undressed me with every glance. What about those lips that i dreamt of kissing every night for a year. and that dark chocolate skin? of course i knew it was him but i just had to form some kind of effizy. you know now. "Bibi, it's me L...remember?
L- Yeah, from OCK Academy...back in Warri?
Me- L...Oh yeah. L, what are you doing here?
We laughed and hugged and chi chatted for a while before i got to the question that we both knew was coming.
Me- so, how is Vivi?
let me give you some background information at this point. Vivi. the biotch. Used to be my BFF back in secondary school. We did eeeeverything together. We even wore the same bandana colors with our uniforms. Everything changed when L came into the scene. We were in our final year then and he was the new guy. i fell in lust with him instantly and so did 90% of the female population in my school. To cut a long story short, we started going out and i can say that i got my first official kiss from him. Right before i walked in on him sucking out Vivi's tongue. Yep. you heard right.so, anyways that was the end of that frienship. Dang! but we were so young and stupid. lol. Back to my story though
Me- so, how's Vivi?
L- I don't know. i guess she's okay. last i heard, she's in Uniport
Me- Oh that's good. i take it that you guys are no longer an item?
L- Naw, it didn't work out.
YES!!! (dancing a jig) it didn't work out. YES!
Me- Awwww, that's too bad
so, we had lunch and as L was flirting with me, i just sat there thinking, "L, you are so fine but i am so over you" the whole time. Let's just say that this time, i took great pleasure from walking away from him. Cos damn, i was looking fine. Other people with similar stories would say "back in high school i was fat but now i'm skinny". Well, thats not my case. Back in high school i was...normal i guess but now, i'm a handful and then some. curves and all that. lol. As i walked away, i caught him staring at me through the Macy's window. YES!!!. Well, L calls me a lot these days trying to get at me but i know it's not gonna happen. lol. Like i said, karma's a bitch but i love her.
Save Yourself The Heartache...
1 week ago