March 11, 2009

MEN!!!

Hey y'all, what's good? or not. lol. Guys!! i'm sure every girl at one stage or another in her life has sworn of them. Well i kinda have right now too but still, they never cease to amaze and amuse me. This whole thing was brought on yesterday when i was on my way from work. I was walking to the bus stop when this dude parks his car by the sidewalk and jogs up to me. He said hi, i said hey and kept on walking. Still, dude introduced himself and the very next words out of his mouth were "you are the most beautiful i have ever seen". Boy, was i disgusted. I don't know why some guys feel that paying a girl ridiculous compliments the very first time they meet her is cool. But i have a piece of advice for these ones, it is an immediate turn off. For me at least. lol
Anyways, back to my story. i looked at this dude
Me- Excuse me?

Big mistake on my part. This only made him run into a litany of how he had been seeing me around for a long time and how he had wanted to talk to me and all that long story. (Let me just say right now that i was already in a very confrontational mood before i even met this guy). Dude kept on talking and talking and before i knew it, he broke the no 1 rule. he said "i've been in love with you for a while now". Are you serious? i almost burst into laughter but i decided to take another route.

Me- so...what exactly do you hmm like about me?

Dude- well, like i said you are the most beauti....

Me- yeah yeah, i heard that part but what exactly do you think is beautiful about me?

Dude- for one, your eyes are very sparkly

Sparkly? Sparkly? Dude please.

Dude- and your lips look very succulent

Me- just like strawberries right?

Dude- hmmm hmm. plus your hair looks so silky

Me- you never seen a weave before?

Dude- well, your skin looks like a rose's petals

What the hell? Rose's petals? how in the world would you know that? i have about six layers of clothes in this cold

Dude- you turn me on

Me- so would porn

Dude- i love your curves

Me- so, get a teddy bear

Dude- you make me feel like a man

Me- so would viagra

Dude- i think of you all through the day

Me- do you want me to pick up some job applications for you?

Dude- funny but really. i even think of you at night too. i mean, i feel as if you were made for me

Me- seriously? are you sure you wouldn't be happier with made in China?

Dude- uh?

Me- never mind

I tell you, dude was still about to go on but i just had to cut him short. it was that or shoot myself. That was by far the worst set of lines i have ever heard. when i got into my bus i started to think about it. I mean, dude was not a bad looking guy at all. tall, dark, handsome, nice cologne but his ultimate sin was unforgiveable. Damn. a word of advice for the guys, a simple "you look beautiful" would suffice, thank you very much.

Moving on to another guy episode, i have to say that karma's a bitch but i love her. lol. On saturday, i was at the mall. the winter weather had taken a chill pill and a hint of summer was out. i quickly donned on some sexy summer clothers and grabbed a pair of sandals because i was so determined not to spend such a beautiful day in. So, i was looking through the window of Ashley Stewart when this voice goes "excuse me". I turned around and it was HIM. (HIM being my 1st crush ever) "Yes?" i replied. but of course i knew it was him. How could i ever forget those eyes. Those eyes that undressed me with every glance. What about those lips that i dreamt of kissing every night for a year. and that dark chocolate skin? of course i knew it was him but i just had to form some kind of effizy. you know now. "Bibi, it's me L...remember?

Me- L?

L- Yeah, from OCK Academy...back in Warri?

Me- L...Oh yeah. L, what are you doing here?

We laughed and hugged and chi chatted for a while before i got to the question that we both knew was coming.

Me- so, how is Vivi?

let me give you some background information at this point. Vivi. the biotch. Used to be my BFF back in secondary school. We did eeeeverything together. We even wore the same bandana colors with our uniforms. Everything changed when L came into the scene. We were in our final year then and he was the new guy. i fell in lust with him instantly and so did 90% of the female population in my school. To cut a long story short, we started going out and i can say that i got my first official kiss from him. Right before i walked in on him sucking out Vivi's tongue. Yep. you heard right.so, anyways that was the end of that frienship. Dang! but we were so young and stupid. lol. Back to my story though

Me- so, how's Vivi?

L- I don't know. i guess she's okay. last i heard, she's in Uniport

Me- Oh that's good. i take it that you guys are no longer an item?

L- Naw, it didn't work out.

YES!!! (dancing a jig) it didn't work out. YES!

Me- Awwww, that's too bad

so, we had lunch and as L was flirting with me, i just sat there thinking, "L, you are so fine but i am so over you" the whole time. Let's just say that this time, i took great pleasure from walking away from him. Cos damn, i was looking fine. Other people with similar stories would say "back in high school i was fat but now i'm skinny". Well, thats not my case. Back in high school i was...normal i guess but now, i'm a handful and then some. curves and all that. lol. As i walked away, i caught him staring at me through the Macy's window. YES!!!. Well, L calls me a lot these days trying to get at me but i know it's not gonna happen. lol. Like i said, karma's a bitch but i love her.
xoxo

25 comments:

SHE said...

LOL @ your fan. If i've said it once, I've said it a thousand times. 95% of guys need to get a new brain!

I can't stop laughing at your responses though. Nice one!

brownskinaijachic said...

yea i dont know why some guy do that, tell u how they think and dream of u blah bla... i like the way u treated L, he derseves it.

RocNaija said...

Damn! Damn! Damn!

The Roc needs to write a book.. "Absolute no no's when approaching a woman"

Jeezz!!

Anonymous said...

oh mi God. i loved your responses. that guy is clueless. nice one girl

Anonymous said...

as for L, you go girl

Funms-the rebirth said...

lol @ ur responses.... u even had time to reply him.... lame dude!
as per L, now hes got manjor hots for u after being an immature cheat in high sch...... u could always play with his head but oops, read u have a dude already.......

SECRET DIARY said...

hhaaaaaaaaaa

Enkay said...

Your responses were always sharp and spot on! I like it! lol!

One thing I can't stand is flattery from a guy. It's one HUGE turn off!

Thanks for stopping by my blog!

fantasy queen said...

lol'

boys boys boys...you've got to love them despite their razziness:)

Fashinga said...

hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe!!!!!!!!!!
I loved the way you answered that dude!!! That guy needs lessons on 'toasting' a woman..
As for L... well, i think he's more mature now..i mean, cut him some slack.. he was in high skul then.. pls dont chew me oh!! its just an opinion..lol

Original Mgbeke said...

LMAO @ the exchange between you and that other dude. Was he african? That just sounds like the corny lyrics of an african.
Hehehehe...awww poor L. Hey that was back in the day na, maybe he might have changed but if you aint diggin' him then you aint diggin' him. Na his loss be that.

Bibi said...

SHE- i absolutely agree with you. but i'll say about 99% of them need a new brain.lol. thanks

BROWNSKINAIJACHIC- you got that right

ROCNAIJA- i will need to get a couple of those books. know some pple who desperately need them. lol

ANONYMOUS- i know who you are girl, thanx for coming through

FUNMS THE REBIRTH- Nope. got no dude. where did you see that?

SECRET DIARY- thanks for coming through. come back again. lol

FANTASY QUEEN- i know right, can't live with them can't live without them. lol

ENKAY- Thanks. but like i said i was felling very confrontational and looking for a fight. lol

FASHINGAA- bite your tongue. lol. if he did it once, he'll do it again.

ORIGINAL MGBEKE- you hit the nail right on the head. he was an African. lol

thank y'all for showing some love.

bukkysexy said...

lmfao. i love your writing girl, that guy did not have a clue. as for L, he is an asshole. forget him. and before y'all insult me, i know who he is or was. lol

Emeka Amakeze said...

Give the guys a break girls. I know that some of could really be sweet and have lines that would make you go weak at the knees and all that but the moment you understand that most girls ambigous reactions have made the rest of the guys clowns. He sleeps with a girl and doesn't touch her, he's a mugu. He doesnt tell a girl that she's beautiful, he's insensitive. It's an endless list but i beg you to help the guys to appreciate you better. Some are ready to learn.

Geebee said...

Permit me to say you were ruthless. . . Mahn, even if the poor dude had some cute lines coming, i bet he'd have forgotten it with your sharp responses. . . Still, the guy no try sha. Such lines don't impress babes anymore. A little ego on his part would have helped. Did you say he was African? Naija guy in jand probably trying to hook up wt naija babe. lol @ L. . . i am convinced youre 75 percent over him. . . wait till you see him again and again. First time here. Loving it

The poets voice ~~~ said...

My gosh!!! LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!
i totally love ur answers to this dude..it cracked me up so much.

You should definitely get a book going: The definite no-no for guys or the words that make for an unpardonable sin.

Love this blog!! and thanx for stopping by mine.

Shubby Doo said...

men and there conrny one liners...it makes it 10 times harder for me to try and keep being nice without completely becoming dissmisive

p.s
to L u're the one that got away...good for u...love your swagger

simeone said...

the guy asked for whatever he got....he didnt even hide it that all he wanted was ur body..yuck and not so yuck..cos of his sincerity..
thanks for coming by my place..
you talk smooth and straight..luv it here..

Writefreak said...

I wonder why guys do silly things like that...inspite of wearing two rings ( band and engagement ring), some guy was convinced i'm a student this past week and hitting on me seriously!

I like that you're not giving L a chance!

Bibi said...

BUKKYSEXY- lol. you know how L is

EMEKA AMAKEZE- i agree with you. the ones how allow themselves to be taught should be taught but some carry their weak lines with pride. lol

GEEBEE- 75%? please. i am 100% over him. lol. i like your faith though. lol. thanks for stopping by

THE POET'S VOICE- about that book....hmmm. i just might do that. with 8 briothers, i know corny lines when i hear them. lol. thanks for stopping by

SHUBBY DOO- i really tried being nice. i really did but like you said, they make it so hard. lol

SIMEONE- lol. double yuck.

WRITEFREAK- oh L is history.

Bibi said...

thank y'all for stopping by. come again next time

Funms-the rebirth said...

oops, i think i may have been drunk while reading it...lol....sorry!

Bibi said...

lol. drinking and reading is allowed. lol

Buttercup said...

OMG is that 1st dude for real???? As in..'sparkly'??? WOW..

I get the feeling u'd still give in to L..lol..

Lady Koko said...

"you make me feel like a man"
replies," so would viagra"
I LIKE YOU ALREADY....MY TYPE OF CHIC!!!
P.S: now how could vivi!!!!!!! I MEAN YOU FLIPPING WORE THE SAME COLOUR OF BANDANAS!!!!!!!!!!!!! *tear drop* I GUESS IT BECAME...bbf(best bitches forever)
p.p.s:xoxo