MY THREESOME NIGHTMARE

Hey y'all, what's good? So, I was going through Scribble's blog when I came across this post about his threesome (my crush's a freak. lol). Anyways, before I left Naija, I decided to have me some fun. Hehehe, I know your mind is in the gutter right now. Sorry to disappoint you but fun for me came in the form of my cousin Kay. She was a hustler. One of the higgest class. So when I decided to stay with Kay during my trip, my uncles freaked. "She'll ruin you" they said. "She's bad influence" they cried. But being my stubborn self, I refused to stay with any of them and moved in with Kay. And in those weeks I had the most fun that I have ever had till date.
Kay lived by her phone. If you ask her what she planned on doing that day in the morning, she would say "its just morning. Don't worry, my phone will ring soon." Her phone is her life line and really, the phone never dissapointed. There was always something to do, somewhere to go, someone to meet. During those weeks, I met Tu baba, Dbanj (just for a minute), Sunny Neji, Paul Play, RMD (yum) and a whole bunch of other people. I did so many things that I never would have done before. Among these good experiences were a couple of....nasty ones. One of which l am about to share with y'all, my blogsville family. lol
One day, Kay and I were getting our hair and some fake tattoos done at the Ikeja bridge when her phone rang. From the conversation, I knew we weren't going home like we planned anymore.

KAY- Bibi, that was Idiot
(idiot being a "friend" of Kay's. He was supposed to give her some money for her rent and school fees)

KAY- He wants me to come and pick up the money now

ME- Okay, so I'll see you back at the house later

KAY- You don't wanna come with me?

ME- Is that okay? Cos I don't want to interrupt you and your bobo when you're showing your appreciation o!

KAY- Which kind appreciation? I beg e. Make we dey go.

And went we did. When we got to idiot's house, I felt something wasn't right. The house was really dark, and it stunk of egbo. I looked at my cousin.

ME- Kay, you dey smell that one so?

KAY- Nor worry. We go just collect the money dey go

Yeah right! the lower part of the house was empty so we climbed up. When we got to the living room, we started hearing some weird, sexual noises. You know, all the moans and grunts and groans. lol. Funny thing is, the sounds weren't coming from 2 or 3 or 4 people. I think there were like about 6 people in that room. They were scattered around in couples. 2 were on the couch, 2 were on the floor and the others were on another couch I think. This was at about 8pm and I guess they didn't see us or didn't bother about us.
At that time, idiot came out from an inner room.

IDIOT- Hey Kay! What's cranking girl?

At this point, let me say that Idiot lives in the US and he was home for xmas. So, he was constantly fonneing.

IDIOT- And you brought your bootilicious sister too. (Rubbing hands) I like that!

KAY- What's going on here?

IDIOT- Nothing much, just a lil group fun. Hahahahahaha

I realized that Idiot was high! Dude was just laughing like a hyena.

KAY- Hmmm...can I get the money now Idiot?

IDIOT- Sure, come on.

We follow him into this room and I realize its a bedroom. With beds and all. Idiot sits on the bed.

KAY- Come on Idiot, its getting late

IDIOT- Since when did that matter? Come over here and give me some love baby girl

KAY- In front of my sister?

Me- oh that's fine, I'll just step outside

Idiot practically jumps on the door and locks it

IDIOT- You ain't going nowhere sexy. I want you to see what your sister will do to get that money

ME- Oh don't worry about that. I have a very good imagination so I can imagine what she'll do. Don't need to see it.

IDIOT- You're not only going to see it, you'll be doing it too

SAY WHAT?!! You have got to be shitting me! Hell no! Oh God, we have got to get out of here! All these thoughts run through my mind.

KAY- stop playing Idiot.

IDIOT- I ain't playing bitch. U both get on the bed!

They both get into an argument and at this stage I'm thinking, okay, this isn't working and I need to get outta here.

KAY- Come on Bibi, we're leaving

IDIOT- No you ain't. You're gonna stay here and give me what I want. The gateman knows not to let anyone out. This will happen. Get on the bed!
Next thing I know, idiot grabs me and shoves his tongue down my throat. He was so excited and high at the same time and that kiss was one I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. In plain words, it sucked. Yuck! Just thinking about it makes me want to throw up in my throat. Ewwwwww. Anyways, i decided to play it cool.

ME- Whats your rush? since it seems we're gonna be here for a while why don't we do it properly

IDIOT- What d'you mean?

ME- Nothing. let's just take our time with it okay?

Hoping to calm him down, i take off my shoes and then my top(thankfully, i had a tube camisole underneath). Immediately he saw my tattoo, he pounced on me. This isn't going like i planned. I look at my cousin and ask her with my eyes to do something. She also takes her top off(unluckily for her, she has nothing but her bra underneath) my cousin is a size 40smthg in bra sizes so the size of her without her shirt sends Idiot out of his head. He was just so pathetic.

ME- I'm just going to use the bathroom, i'll be right back

KAY- I need to use the bathroom too

At this stage we were smiling so hard i felt my face crack. He looked suspicious for a while until Kay touched him here and there and told him

KAY- You know you're the best i ever had and i will be back.

IDIOT- what about her?

ME- I'm not going anywhere yet, i want to see what you have for me

IDIOT- okay but be back in 5

KAY- we will.

we left our bags, our shoes and my top (at least Kay put her's back on) i just couldn't wait to get the heck up out of there. since Kay had been there before, she knew a road through the back fence and we climbed through and ran like the devil was on our heels (which he was if you ask me) luckily enough for us, i had some vex money in my jean pocket and we boarded a cap with bare feet. the cabbie didn't even look at us twice so i guess he's used to seeing stuff like that. when we got home, i climbed in the shower and stayed there for like 5 hours and brushed my teeth with almost a tube of toothpaste.
I was kinda worried that Idiot's pride would make him come after us later but Kay was "friends" with the commisioner of police then and he had some cops go warn him off and that was the last we heard from Idiot.

P.S- funny thing is Kay got that rent money the very next day from someone else. A whole lot more than Idiot was going to give her anyways. *sigh* fond memories, fond memories.

P.S.S- What is it with me and my molestation stories these days? i have no clue. maybe i'll share some more because trust me, there are a lot of them. the price we pay for being beautiful. lol