April 9, 2009

I'LL MISS YOU

Hey y'all, whats good? you wondering what the topic is all about right? well, i am kinda going on a mini vacation today. it wasn't really a big deal cos i thought i would still be able to use a pc there but i just found out that they have no internet connection at the resort. Neither do they have tmobile service so i can't use my phone either. yeah, sad. i called them to find out and they were talking about how the environment of the resort is all about spending time with yourself away from all the distractions. the guy on the phone even told me "ma'am, i'm sure that if you wanted to sit in front of the computer, you would just stay home and wouldn't bother coming here" i was too depressed to come up with a snappy comeback for him. *sigh*. Anyways, i'll miss you guys. try not to post anything interesting this weekend. i'll be back easter day though, so i guess its not that bad. but before i go, let me share a lil snippets of my week so far

Aunty J called me on sunday and found out that i wasn't working monday and since she is a shopaholic, a heavily pregnant one at that, she asks me to accompany her to Nordstrom since they were having a crazy shoe sale. i agree and she picked me up. on our way going, she takes the beltway and as we were coming off, a police car notifies us to pull down. we did and the officer sits in his car, i guess looking her car info in his little computer thingy. as we sit in the car waiting for the officer to come up,

AUNT J- oh ooh. which kind thing be this now? make this yeye man nor give me ticket o! Bibi, if he give me ticket just play along

ME- play along with wetin?

AUNT J- with me now. i nor get money for that kind wahala so just do as i say. he dey come

the police officer comes up, he's white, tall, nice looking.

PO- ma'am, licence and registration please. you kno you were speeding right?

AUNT J- i was?

PO- yep, you were. that will cost you $80

AUNT J- Oh God! okay *sniffs*

PO- and your left traffic indicators off too. that will cost you $120

AUNT J- ye kpa mi! (i am dead)

she begins to cry hysterically. real tears!

PO- ma'am, are you okay?

AUNT J- no i'm not okay o! i am dead! sir, you have killed me

she's sobbing seriously now and i'm just patting her shoulders going "it's okay aunt j, it's okay"

AUNT J- sir, look at me. look at me very well.

Po- i'm looking ma'am

AUNT J- today will be my last day as a happy woman because my husband will finish me today. he'll beat me to death. and my baby...my baby. he warned me not to drive his car but i didn't listen. he'll just kill me today. how can i get $200? i don't work, i don't hacve any money anywhere, no where to borrow from. what will i do?

at this stage i'm amazed. aunt J is crying like a little girl. tears are running down her cheeks and all. she's sniffing, stuttering and if i didn't know what she was up to, i would believe her act

Po- take it easy ma'am, it'll be alright. so, you husband will beat you up because of the tickets is that it?

AUNT J- *nods*

PO- do you want to file a police report? we can have him arrested if you file a report...

AUNT J- and who will take care of me and my baby? no, if i didn't take his car, he wouldn't have to hurt me but now....

PO- okay ma'am, i'll let the tickets go. just...don't drive this car in this condition again okay?

AUNT J- *sniffing* okay, thank you so much. you just saved me and my baby. thank you.

I was flabbergasted i tell you! Aunt J recovered as soon as we hit the road. and she was so happy she saved 200 bucks. what an actress!

PS- Does anybody know the angel who God appointed to put dimples on babies in heaven? because i feel cheated. all my brothers. all 8 of them have dimples and me? none. not even a hint of one. i feel cheated. doesn't it annoy you when you see guys with the most beautiful, naturally curved eyebrow, and long lashes? i mean why do they have it. they do nothing with it. oh well, i compensate for my lack of dimples in so many other areas...hehehe. Happy holy thursday, good friday, something saturday and easter sunday. And HAPPY BUFFDAY IN ADVANCE BSNC

45 comments:

My World said...

Yeah,sure with miss ya posts Bibi.
You go have a blast girl...

BSNC said...

okay am not going to say... am soo first. there i said it:)

BSNC said...

shooot am not first...

lol your aunt is an actress oo. that was funny. eya we will miss you too.

i didn't have dimples when i was baby, but i have something close to one now( i think)..

Yay happy birthday to me!!! thanks B. enjoy your mini vacation:)

Anonymous said...

awwww, cant wait for u to come bac,u r ma fave blogger of all time, i always relate to ur posts tho i neva leav any comments plus i so lurrvveee the nuggets of wisdom on ur blog as in the quotes,newais av an absolutely fab holiday, ur auntie is so hilarious as in..wasted talent mehn...8 brothas...fo real..ur significant other wud def think 2ce b4 raisin a finger on u...hav fun on the sun n sand..takia!!!!!!

L-VII said...

Have fun and enjoy the sunshine.

Kafo said...

na wa ooooo
u have no internet and u typed this much

hmmmm

blogoratti said...

Have fun at the resort!
And don't forget to connect with nature!!

Repressed One said...

lol...your Aunty J is a trip.
I'm with you on feeling cheated as per dudes with lovely full eyebrows n lashes...so unfair.

...the guy on the phone does have a point na lol. Have fun on your mini vacation.

Tinu said...

lol!!Aunty J is too sharrrp abeg!something my momsie would do!!
have fun!and happy easter

Bibi said...

MY WORLD- Awwww, thanks girl, I will.

BSNC-*Hissssssssss* carry your dimples go. I nor want.

DEAREST ANONYMOUS- Are you serious? I am so flattered right now. Thank you, thqnk you so much. Really, wow. You just made my weekend. Thanks

LVII- Thanks I will

KAFO- I typed this b4 I left the house. I'm on my way there. So far my fone is still working.

Nice Anon said...

we shall miss you as well.

Bibi said...

BLOGORATTI- Nature kó nature nì. lol

REPRESSED ONE- Yes o! Thanks I will.

TINU- Anything to save money. lol. Thanx

Bibi said...

NICE ANON- awwww, *wipes a tear* thanx

scribble,me.free said...

lmao...ur aunty is serious jokes...have "fun" at the resort

~Sirius~ said...

LOL! Your aunty deserves an Oscar! LoL!..... Wow! 8 dimple smiling blokes! I'd be mad upset too.

BSNC said...

ahh ahh bibi wetin now. All i have to say is mo gbono fel feli.. don't me because i get dimples, i get dimples..lol(my remix).

but you know, with or without dimples you be omoge

Bibi said...

SCRIBBLES- I'll have "fun" but I'll try not to cheat on you. You know ur posts leave me....err, you know.

SIRIUS- Thank you! Someone who understands my plight. lol

BSNC- Thanx babe

MissLove said...

ohhhhhhhhhhhhh I am 18th!! mchewwwww and I have book to read oh but let me read this post

MissLove said...

this ur aunt na wa ohhhhhh you must be kidding in fact!! wow!! that is quite deep

Miss FlyHigh - LondonsNaijaQueen said...

have a nice time miss bibi :)
and your auunt is goood!!!! Good actress sef ..

Original Mgbeke said...

Bia nwa, where you dey go? You wan go resort and not invite us ehnnn?
LOL @ your aunty. Make she go apply for Nollywood o, hahahahaha.

Bibi said...

MISS LOVE- read and come back o!

MISS FLYHIGH-LONDON'S NAIJA QUEEN- Babe, your name long to type o! lol

ORIGINAL MGBEKE- Nor mind me o! I forget. lol

Buttercup said...

lmaoooooooooooooooooo @ ur aunt! i need some lessons from her mayn..hehehe!

awwww u'll be missed! enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mwah!

bob-ij said...

I love your aunty! hahaha I've always wondered how I would do that thing. And if I do, it better work!

x!

Dante said...

bibi...have fun...

You aunt is the thang...lol

Happy easter!

Confessions of a London gal said...

LMAO @ ur Aunty J- My kinda person! lol

And i so get u on the dimples front- my sisters have deep ones and i only have a 'shadow' of one wen i smile real hard! lol

Have fun on ur holis, we'll be here waiting 4 u to come back with plentiful gist!

Fashinga said...

You're going out of town to a resort??? you'll be gone for days??? your fonw will be switched off??? Hmmm...Wow!!!! *shakes head*...thats all i gotta say.

bye

RocNaija said...

Lmao @ Your aunty..
Oscar f'shure!

Gotta admit I'm one of them ones with long eyelashes.. Keeps getting in my eyes though.. so it's a sometimes pain..

Women always want to keep helping me straighten it for some reason..

PS.. Have fun having fun

The Nigerian Fetish said...

Oh wow. Your Aunt is a G!!!

Lol, wow, yes, your posts are always interesting. Lol, you making me have to step my blog stuff up.

Sprezatura said...

8 brothers?

Sprezatura said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
tis all about me said...

LMAO...your aunty def deserves an Oscar

A+ performance

and u sef u played along? police would just carry both of u to jail


happy easter babe!!

Lady A said...

OMG, your Auntie is no joke! Wow! Where was she when I recieved 2 tickets last month? Yeah, I wished I had dimples, I always did.

joicee said...

Oh wow ... your aunt is really something...

Enjoy your vacay!

Cappuccine Baby said...

You wan leave us abi???

Mschew.

Lol, enjoy your vac dear

naijagirl said...

lol, that was soooo funny. your aunt is lucky the cop fell for it; some wouldnt.and if your aunt could turn on the water works so fast, maybe Nollywood needs her.
I feel you on the dimples. as a kid, i used to use stuff to push down my cheeks cos i heard if you push hard enough it will come....didnt work

Lolia said...

Sorry to go all bio on you sweetie but dimples are a dominant trait which is probably why all eight of your brothers have them...It just so happens that you got the recessive trait...*sad face on your behalf*

Meanwhile have a blessed Easter :)
xx

pinkyandbrain said...

All I Could Do Was Laugh Heartily At Your Aunt's Antics And Gently Stroke My Naturally Curved Eyebrow & Long Lashes

StandTall-The Activist said...

If a given a ticket to a woman and she goes my husband will beat me. I will be interested in knowing who the asshole that beat his wife is and it might lead to him facing the law if it were true.

Enjoy your vacation dearie

Geebee said...

Your aunt's an amazing actress... but I bet those stunts would never work with naija policemen o. I agree with you on the dimple thing. I often confuse my sunken cheeks for dimples. lol. At least, you're endowed in 'other areas'. lol. YOU HAVE BEEN TAGGED!

Buttercup said...

BIBI, COME BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

:(

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

Its just a temporary vacation, right?

Please say yes...

Enjoy!

UnderCover07 said...

LMFAO....mehn ur Aunt shd go into Acting jo. Dat was a fast one. I once had a friend wiv a similar situation...but her line was dat she's African and just barely getting by...lol

Tigeress said...

lol@ ur aunt. I have a friend who pulled a stunt like that.
my blogger friend -SexyT have the loveliest eyelashes.

Omo Oba said...

u and BSNC have the most outofthisworld stories...your anty men is who i need to get some digs from! aba! lol!!! hope u had fun at the retreat.