Hey y'all, whats good? you wondering what the topic is all about right? well, i am kinda going on a mini vacation today. it wasn't really a big deal cos i thought i would still be able to use a pc there but i just found out that they have no internet connection at the resort. Neither do they have tmobile service so i can't use my phone either. yeah, sad. i called them to find out and they were talking about how the environment of the resort is all about spending time with yourself away from all the distractions. the guy on the phone even told me "ma'am, i'm sure that if you wanted to sit in front of the computer, you would just stay home and wouldn't bother coming here" i was too depressed to come up with a snappy comeback for him. *sigh*. Anyways, i'll miss you guys. try not to post anything interesting this weekend. i'll be back easter day though, so i guess its not that bad. but before i go, let me share a lil snippets of my week so far
Aunty J called me on sunday and found out that i wasn't working monday and since she is a shopaholic, a heavily pregnant one at that, she asks me to accompany her to Nordstrom since they were having a crazy shoe sale. i agree and she picked me up. on our way going, she takes the beltway and as we were coming off, a police car notifies us to pull down. we did and the officer sits in his car, i guess looking her car info in his little computer thingy. as we sit in the car waiting for the officer to come up,
AUNT J- oh ooh. which kind thing be this now? make this yeye man nor give me ticket o! Bibi, if he give me ticket just play along
ME- play along with wetin?
AUNT J- with me now. i nor get money for that kind wahala so just do as i say. he dey come
the police officer comes up, he's white, tall, nice looking.
PO- ma'am, licence and registration please. you kno you were speeding right?
AUNT J- i was?
PO- yep, you were. that will cost you $80
AUNT J- Oh God! okay *sniffs*
PO- and your left traffic indicators off too. that will cost you $120
AUNT J- ye kpa mi! (i am dead)
she begins to cry hysterically. real tears!
PO- ma'am, are you okay?
AUNT J- no i'm not okay o! i am dead! sir, you have killed me
she's sobbing seriously now and i'm just patting her shoulders going "it's okay aunt j, it's okay"
AUNT J- sir, look at me. look at me very well.
Po- i'm looking ma'am
AUNT J- today will be my last day as a happy woman because my husband will finish me today. he'll beat me to death. and my baby...my baby. he warned me not to drive his car but i didn't listen. he'll just kill me today. how can i get $200? i don't work, i don't hacve any money anywhere, no where to borrow from. what will i do?
at this stage i'm amazed. aunt J is crying like a little girl. tears are running down her cheeks and all. she's sniffing, stuttering and if i didn't know what she was up to, i would believe her act
Po- take it easy ma'am, it'll be alright. so, you husband will beat you up because of the tickets is that it?
AUNT J- *nods*
PO- do you want to file a police report? we can have him arrested if you file a report...
AUNT J- and who will take care of me and my baby? no, if i didn't take his car, he wouldn't have to hurt me but now....
PO- okay ma'am, i'll let the tickets go. just...don't drive this car in this condition again okay?
AUNT J- *sniffing* okay, thank you so much. you just saved me and my baby. thank you.
I was flabbergasted i tell you! Aunt J recovered as soon as we hit the road. and she was so happy she saved 200 bucks. what an actress!
PS- Does anybody know the angel who God appointed to put dimples on babies in heaven? because i feel cheated. all my brothers. all 8 of them have dimples and me? none. not even a hint of one. i feel cheated. doesn't it annoy you when you see guys with the most beautiful, naturally curved eyebrow, and long lashes? i mean why do they have it. they do nothing with it. oh well, i compensate for my lack of dimples in so many other areas...hehehe. Happy holy thursday, good friday, something saturday and easter sunday. And HAPPY BUFFDAY IN ADVANCE BSNC
Save Yourself The Heartache...
1 week ago