April 6, 2009

OH NO HE DIDN'T, AWWW HELL NO SHE DIDN'T

Hey y’all what’s up? Weird topic huh? I know you guys are expecting some drama right about now but I am a drama free girl. I can hear BSNC laughing right now. *sticks tongue out* wharever girl. Anyways, Oh no he didn’t is kinda about my weekend. Which was going just great until I got a call from asshole. Asshole is a boyfriend of a friend. No, scratch that. An ex-boyfriend of a friend. Since ex-boyfriend and I aren’t at all close, I was curious when my phone rang and it was him. The conversation kinda went like this

AH- Hey Bibi, whats up?

Bibi- Nothing much. Who’s this?

AH- So you don’t recognize my voice huh?

Bibi- If I did I wouldn’t be asking now would i?

AH- Bibi Bibi, its me AH

Bibi- AH? Oh hey, whats up?

AH- Nothing much. Are you at work?

Bibi- No

AH- You’re at home?

Bibi- Nope

AH- So where are you?

Bibi- You called to ask me where I’m at?

AH- No, not really

Bibi- So, what did you call for?

AH- Haba, can’t I just call to check on you?

Bibi- Did you?

AH- Somehow

Bibi- Look, I don’t have time to be playing twenty one questions right now so just say what you want to say and be done with it.

Did I mention that I don’t like Asshole? I don’t. I just don’t like his triffling ass. There was just always something sneaky about him. Anyways…

AH- Well, you know your girl and I broke up right?

Bibi- Oh you did?

AH- yeah

Bibi- That’s too bad. So you were saying?

AH- Yeah, since babe and I are no longer together and I know you don’t have a boyfriend, I was thinking that we could….you know hook up

What?!! are you seriously serious right now? Imagine the stupid nerve of the asshole! Well, I won't go into details (long story) but let’s just say that asshole will not be calling me again. Hehehe


So, a couple of months ago, a friend of mine started going out with this guy but she was always complaining about things like, I’m not physically attracted to him, he’s not tall enough for me and silly stuff like that. I told her to stop wasting his time if she wasn’t feeling him but you know how we girls like to have some kind of nice guys on reserve incase the bad boy dumps us. lol. Anyways, a couple of weeks into the relationship and the guy introduces her to his friends. She calls me up that night and she starts talking about how cute one of the guys Tee is. She goes on and on and on about how he was staring at her all through the night and how he was feeling her. Now let me mention that my friend is a Nigerian but she was born and brought up here so she kinda doesn’t know how things work with Naija boys. Let me also mention that these two guys are bestest of friends. They grew up in Nigeria together, went to secondary and uni together and are now living here. so, I told my girl to forget about it because from having 8 brothers I know that 99% of Nigerian guys will not let a girl come between a good friendship. Instead, the both of them will fool you along and play you in the end. *ouch* so, I explained this to mi girl and she seemed to understand it. She never mentioned Tee again and her relationship with Nice boy went on. couple of weeks later, she calls me again and convinces me to go on a double date. I went because of the promise of ice-cream. *purring* lol. Anyways I show up there and I fell in lust. Now, this guy ain’t just all that in looks he is ALL that and then some more in charisma. He holds your attention when he walks into a room and all that. So the night goes on and we found a lot in common. He takes my number and all the usual cat and mouse game. A couple of days later, I was talking to my friend and I tell her that I think Tee’s cool. You know what she says? “oh he already has a girl in Jersey and he said he wasn’t feeling you” oh really? He didn’t act like no hooked guy and he sure didn’t act like he wasn’t feeling me. Anyways, I sha forget about Tee (it was hard though!) and moved on. Another couple of weeks later, a mutual friend of ours had a bash and lo and behold, look who showed up. Tee. He walks up to me and goes “hey, remember me?” I said to myself, yeah right like I can forget. But I say “of course, hey Tee whats up?" We hug and surprisingly enough I caught babe staring at us. she wasn’t looking like your girl will look and tease you about it. She was looking like she didn’t like what was going on. I brushed it off and ended up spending the rest of the evening hanging with Tee. He bought me drinks, we danced and just had fun. Didn’t babe tell me that he wasn’t feeling me? He sure as hell ain't acting like it. So we’re about to leave when he asks if he could drop me off at home. I said yes and get in his car. Next thing I know, babe runs up to us(on high heels!)

Babe- where are you guys going?

Tee- nowhere, I’m taking Bibi home though

Babe-Bibi, why is Tee taking you home? Jen lives close to you, she can take you home

Bibi- Thanks but I’m gonna go with Tee

Babe- (laughs) why? You’re just giving him trouble. Your house is really far from his

Bibi- Tee, am I giving you trouble?

Tee- (laughs) Nope, tell Jen that I want to take Bibi home in a first class car.

We all laugh to cover up the awkwardness and we left. On our way home, Tee explains that he lost his phone and contacts the very next day he met me and couldn’t get my number again. I ask him why he didn’t get it from babe. He said that he tried but she refused to give bacause I had told her not to give my digits out. Hmmmm…. Again, i brush off that feeling. That night Tee asks me out and i said okay. the next day, babe calls me

Babe- so....what was up with you flirting with Tee all night?

Me- Nuthin much. you have it right though, we were just flirting

Babe- I told you he has a girlfriend already. i thought you don't do taken guys?

Me- To me he doesn't have a girlfriend because he said he doesn't have one

Babe- isn't that what all guys say? that they don't have a girlfriend?

Me- Babe, i'm taking him at his word. i'm not about to plant a girl on him when he says he doesn't have one now am i? anyways we're going out tomorrow

What i heard was not at all what i expected. Lai lai. My girl freaked.

Babe- what?! why will you go out with him? he's just trying to play you

Me- Babe, relax. i'm not exactly trying to marry him either so...

Babe- he isn't taking you seriously Bibi. he already has a girlfriend, he said that you were too big for him becaus you know he likes skinny girls right?

Me- (laugh)Babe, Tee is not the first and neither will he be the last guy who's taste change after meeting me. by the way, did he tell you all this stuff?

Babe- no but he told nice guy. he said that he's just being friendly towards you and that he doesn't want you to think he was interested. call him and cancel now because he doesn't like you. i'm telling you, call him and cancel.

The lady doth protesth too much don't ya think? and at this stage i'm thinking "awww hell no she didn't" i'm beginning to get upset right now but i decide to keep a cool head

ME- babe, we're just going on a date. a date not marriage and i think you're over reacting. you've been telling me all this load of stuff that clashes with what I've seen so far

BABE- so what are you trying to say? That I'm lying to you?

Me- I'm not "trying" to tell you anything babe, I'm telling you to back off.
That conversation pissed me off so much but shit happens right?

28 comments:

Qube The Wordsmith said...

First!!!!!!!!!!

YAY!!!!!

Oh u knw she's hatin bcos she can't have him na...that's SOOOOO obvious.

Brush ur shoulder off n date d guy jo!!

scribble,me.free said...

2nd...lol..'the lady doth protest too much' for real...allow it jo...do you

mizchif said...

I'm not even going to say much abt AH cuz his name says it all already.

But this ur friend did not try @ all na, haba! All this obvious protesting, in front of the guy sef, abi she comot for line when dem dey share shame give ppl? She had berra chill abeg.
Unfortunately, if u guys aren't cool anymore now, ppl will say ehn dats how chicks r, letting a man come btwn them.
Plix, ignore d babe and carry on with Tee, @ least let him b the one tell u all the ficticious facts ur friend was coming up with.

Cappuccine Baby said...

girl is blatantly jealous

blogoratti said...

Hnnnnmm! All's been said..

BSNC said...

hahahaha yes am laffing rite now. you are drama free alright. Don't mind the asshole dude, e no get levels..
i told you before that babe dey beef you. she wants both guyz for herself

Mocha said...

Ugh..
they are both sooooo annoying!

HE: is a an effing-sodding-wanking-does-not-know-his-place-or-level-effer

SHE: is a roll-blocking-greedy-selfish-treacherous-heffer

nuff said.

Writefreak said...

Wow! your friend prolly got the hots for the guy?? Na wa o, she tried too hard!

juiceegal said...

AH IS JUST A LOSER.....
nd as 4 ur frnd,she is just plain jealous...its so obvious shez pissed cz she cnt get him...stuff lyk dat happens everytm jst ignore her

Original Mgbeke said...

Can you imagine the nerve of both of them?
As per the girl, that one na serious cock blocker o! Shuooooo...why is she hating?
I hope say you no fashy Tee because of her hating self o.

Nice Anon said...

lmao! your friend is jealous. Wetin come consign her? She wishes tee would notice her too.

Black Berry said...

LMAO
'ur too big for him'
wtf???

8 brothers?? wow!!

xo

ps-'hes not the first guy that would change taste after meeting me'-looves it!

Bibi said...

QUBE THE WORDSMITH- lol. Brushing it off right now.

SCRIBBLES- do me huh? Nice...

MIZCHIF- thank you jo! You sabi better. lol

CAPPUCINE BABY- na so we see am o!

BLOGORATTI- Yep, all's been said. I like your style.

BSNC- Of course I'm drama free. Psych

MOCHA- aye aye cap'n!

WRITEFREAK- If she didn't have a boyfriend already, I would have stepped down. Or would I?

JUICEEGAL- I plan on doing just that

ORIGINAL MGBEKE- You say wetin? Fashy that kind guy? Hehehe

NICE ANON- that's er own o!

BLACK BERRY- lol. Yes o! My woman power is that strong. Hehehe

Thanks for coming through y'all

The Nigerian Fetish said...

Hmmmmn. Why were you still talking to her? You must have been sparing her feelings. Because I would have gave her a smacking! Lol, maybe not a smacking, but I would have cursed her out. To the extent that she said that he thinks your too big and that he likes skinny girls is absolutely rude and crazy to me, for her to say.

Nope! Too crazy. Can't believe all that. But that's on her own, it's a whatever situation. I can't believe that. Your life is interesting.

~Sirius~ said...

Jeeze!
WTH has gotten into your friend?
Why is she triping?...........Jealous? or Upset?
Esp after you told her to stay away a while back.

As for AH.....Won't waste my words on him..........*hiss

It's really freaky your friend running in heels and all of that........ be careful though...

Good Naija Girl said...

Hmm, someone sounds jealous, or wants to have her cake and eat it too. Since she was born and raised abroad, she might not actually believe that you have her best interest at heart when you warned her away from Tee. That's the only reason I can think of that her green eyed monster self was activated.

I'm glad you didn't let her faze you sha...let her deal with her own insecurities on her own.

Wow...8 brothers. Are they all older? Hook a sista up! ;)

Bibi said...

NIGERIAN FETISH- I definately had to calm myself down because I did feel like smacking her up the head.

SIRIUS- lol. I will, thanx

naijagirl said...

hahahaha....sorry, I am just imagining you saying "who is this?" and the person on the phone saying "this is asshole"
woah woah, me think "babe" dost protest too much, what gives? she's still has a crush on Tee, and by the way, Tee better be "all that" for all these drama. He sure is a hot cake now
Either that or babe doesnt get it

Buttercup said...

mscheeeeeeeeeeew @ asshole! the name suits him perfectly..

as for babe..lmao!!! she wants tee for herself..aww..

AnyaPosh said...

whoa...the nerve of the bitch. damn...wat a party pooper, babe tryna rain on ur parade.

*Diane* said...

wow! to both situations. I hope yo told that fool...(AH) to go kick rocks, and tell your friend to calm down...she's doing way, way too much

TayneMent said...

Wow, grown women still do that?

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

lol! she 'doth protesteth too much'

Afrobabe said...

Yeah the lady protests too much...I think she can't hve him and doesn't want you to have him either....

Tinu said...

this ur "friend" what is her own now?she's even pissing me off!tschewwww wo oremi enjoy yourself o!and dont let her burn your cable!!!

StandTall-The Activist said...

Your lady seems to have a thing for Tee.

The asshole is surely an asshole. He shd pls stop disgracing the men focus haba!

theicequeen said...

ex-squeeeeeeze me!...i woulda blown my top meyn...AH..get wahala for head..your friend...needs to sort out her internal issues and stop taking them out on you...he likes skinnt girls ke? that one is just...tasteless desperation

Confessions of a London gal said...

In fact I double your "Awwww hell no she didnt"!!!!
I HATE people like that man! Cant have him, but no one else can as well?

Tell her, Move over Biatch! Go do you gurl!

And if nothing happens btw u and Tee, it sure shouldnt be bcos she got her knickers in a twist!