NO MORE

Hey y'all, what's good? hope you had fun this weekend past cos i did. kinda. lol. So I tried my hands at the audio posting thingy but i don't think it's for me for some reasons.
1) it feels weird. it's different when you type it all up. at the end of the day, the typed one is actually more time conserving. the audio posting takes a lot of time recording and re-recording it because you are bound to make some mistakes and all that.

2) Thanks to everyone who left comments but if I hear one more "Aww, you sound so cute", i think i'll have a breakdown. seriously. And i mean that in the cutest way possible. lol

3) With the audio posts, we kinda tend to stray from the topic at hand. And most times, i really don't hear what i said properly and all that.

So for those reasons, i will no longer be doing audio posts. Except on the new blog BSNC, Miss Flyhigh and I will be opening this week. Watch out for that.

ALL I OWE

Mehn! I am in such a cranky mood today. Maybe the fact that I am tired explains why. or maybe because I was late to work today, no scratch that. Been late to work the whole of this week explains why i'm tired and cranky. But no, maybe the fact that my upstairs neighbours will not let me sleep in peace explains why I am late, tired and cranky! For the past couple of days I have been hearing serious bed humping sounds. Complete with the moans and groans. If this happened for a couple of hours, it wouldn't be that bad. But this happens all through the night!!. On monday I left my room and slept on the couch. Tuesday, on the floor. Imagine that! If they start again today, I swear, i will use a mop stick or something to tap on my ceiling/their floor. Haba! A girl can only take so much. Mscheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew. (sorry, been doing a lot of that lately. lol)
Anyways, this week I have been tagged by the sexy SCRIBBLES and the beautiful BSNC for some meme's. since i have been procastinating on this, I have decided to close my eyes and do them now. *sigh*
Okay, here goes for Scribbles
Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions.*They have to be real...nothing made up! If the person before you had the same first initial, you must use different answers.*You cannot use any word twice and you can't use your name for the boy/girl name question.* Dont google ur answers.*Make it as interesting and fun as you can.

1. What is your name: Bibi

2. A four Letter Word: Babe (hey scribs.lol)

3. A boy's Name: Babatunde

4. A girl's Name: Becky

5. An occupation: Booty shaker (work na work)

6. A color: Black (my favorite)

7. Something you'll wear: Belt?

9. A food: Banga soup

10. Something found in the bathroom: Bathrobe?

11. A place: Benin (holla)

12. A reason for being late: Bra (gotta stack em up! yeah right)

13. Something you'd shout: Bend down select! (no i wouldn't. really)

14. A movie title: Big momma's house

15. Something you drink: Barcleys (i guess)

16. A musical group: Backstreet boys (*sigh, moons, blinks rapidly*)

17. An animal: Bitch

18. A street name: Brown log

19. A type of car: BMW (for chizzle)

20. The title of a song: Back that thing up

*Pheeew* okay for BSNC,

8 Things I look forward to

1)Getting a new job in July. So bored with this one right now.*yawn*
2)Graduating.
3)Getting my car this August
4)Summer!
5)Getting done with this class i'm taking right now. i'm practically counting the days. seriously
6)Seeing a friend I haven't seen in about 3 months!
7)Eating BSNC's paycheck for the first time! make you ready o. because that day, cheesecake factory and your wallet go hear am!
8)Finally, my next paycheck of course. the job might stink but the money doesn't.

8 Things I did yesterday

1)Had a salad for lunch
2)Took my weave off. found out that chica cut my hair! good thing i have a lot of it. if not...
3)Flirted with dude
4)Designed a new storage pattern for my jewellries. have a whole bunch of them so i had to find them some storage place. bribe me and i will share. lol
5)Went to class *yawn*
6)Thought about going to the gym
7)Got paid. which is why i took the hair off in the first place. lol
8)Told a coworker off for trying to bully a new coworker.

8 Things I wish to do

1)Get my scripts produced. soon
2)Open a fast food joint in Naija. will do
3)Learn to sew.
4)Own an estate. A 10 house estate actually
5)Build the biggest mall in Lagos. lol
6)Sponsor an unfortunate child through school
7)Kiss Tyler Perry. *giggles*
8)Win the lottery so i can do all of the above. lol. well, with or without the lottery, most of those if not all will come through. *wink wink*

8 shows I watch

1)America's next top model. even though i ain't never gon be up there
2)Bill Bellamy's who's got jokes. they are hilarious!
3)For the love of Ray J (whenever i get the time). by the way, who won that show? anyone know?
4)All of us. but since Tia left, it has not been the same
5)Baldwin hills. Gotta love Justin
6)Harlem Heights.
7)Top chef. Delicious
8)Project runway. Beautiful

8 bloggers tagged
*sratching head*

1)Jhazmyn
2)Nigerian Fetish
3)Original Mgbeke
4)Nice Anon
5)Cappucine Baby
6)Cidersweet
7)Mizchif
8)Qube the wordsmith

Now i breathe feely. Enjoy...

THE EFFECTS OF ALCHOHOL(Naaaaasty)

I am so grossed out right now. I think I even threw up my lunch in my mouth. *shudders*. Well, I guess I have to explain what brought about my indigestion. Well, on my way from work, I stopped over at my cousin's place and she had a couple of friends around so we all got talking and the topic branched into alchohol. One of the girls said that she never drinks. I don't either but I asked her why. She seemed shy and hesitated initially but after a few "come on's" she agreed to tell us. Apparently her brother was hanging out with a couple of his cousins one day and all of a sudden he decided to go home. Deal was, he was wasted. Completely, totally, uselessly wasted. lol. His cousins asked him to wait so everyone could walk home together but he was adamant and left. As he was walking home in his drunken state, he came aross the 'mad woman' who used to sit by the church. Now, deal with this woman is she sits there without panties and has her legs spread wide open. So people passing by have no choice but to have a look at her folds and vajayjay. So, when this guys friends were done, they started walking back home and on their way, guess what they saw by the church. Their buddy was banging the hell out of the woman! Out. In. The. Streets. Where everyone was watching. Immediately they saw what they saw, the alchohol fled from their bloodstreams and they became sober. Quick quick. lol. They tried pulling their buddy away from her but she gripped him so hard and growled at them. So they had no choice but to leave them be. When they were done, they dragged their friend home and shaved him so he doesn't get lice and all that. They tried to cover his tracks but too many people saw what they saw and by the next morning, the news was all over the neighbourhood (you know how it is in 9ja). His newly wedded wife left him and he had to move away from town. A couple of months later, the woman was walking the streets heavily pregnant. Such a shame don't you agree?
This kinda reminded me of one that happened back in Uniben. When I used to live at the hostel, one of my roomates(Halima) went to a party with one of her friends. Her friend got so wasted that towards the end of the party, she emptied her stomach contents all over herself. Halima had to leave the party to get some clothes for her to wear back home. While she was gone, the rest of the girls at the party left too and the friend was left with about 5 guys in the house. When Halima got back to the house, she was about to get in when she heard some weird noise. She looked through the keyhole and lo and behold, her friend was getting gangbanged/gangraped (I can't classify it) According to Halima, her friend wasn't exactly protesting or participating. She was just giggling drunkenly. Halima didn't go in out of fear that they would attack her too cos they were also drunk (that I don't believe) Her friend left school that same week and we never heard from her again.

By the way, I got tagged by Spiceytee, Gee and Scribbles but I'll do it on my next post so pls bear with my procastinating self. lol

SAY WHAT?!!!

Hey y'all, what's good? Or not. lol. I'm typing this post from my phone and at the same time I'm watching 'making the band 4'. So if there's any typo it's Diddy's fault lol. I never used to pay much attention to the show but I accidentally saw it while I was at a friend's house. She's hooked on it. It's just ridiculous the amount of power Diddy has over their lives. They live in fear of him. And whatever he decides is law. Imagine that. Money talks I guess.
Anyways, this post is about some of my experiences with schooling here in the US of A. I have about three occurences to talk about so lets start from the very beginning.
Okay, so I began classes and I felt like a pea in a pond. I had just gotten to the country permanently for about 2 weeks and I was already taking classes. Lemme just say that its a very different ball game when you spend you summers or christmases abroad. It ain't nothing like when you actually live there. I thought I was going to have the time of my life because I usually did when I came over for hols. But living here, I didn't have no friends. No one. Imagine me, Bibi, having a cell phone that was never ringing. Since when? But not only did I know no one, I didn't know how anything was run over here. School especially. Being a uniben babe (All the uniben peeps, holla. lol) I still had this impresson that the professors decide if you pass or not. *shakes head* so I was getting to class 10 minutes early, submitting my papers a week early, never asking questions in class, never talking while the professor is talking and basically being a goody two shoes. i was always amazed at how the other students would diss the professor, have their earphones on in class, pick up their phones in class, interrupt while the professor's still speaking and so on. i would just look at them, shake my head and go, "oooh, they are so failing this class". lol. But to the main event, there was this particular girl who just got on my nerves. you know those notice me ITK (i know it all) types? that was what she was. she would come late to class and ask the professor if she could start over. WTF? Are you serious? Yes she was Nigerian. she would complete the professor's sentences, ask why the professor was giving us so much time to write a paper, basically act like a biotch. She did a whole bunch of BS but wetin concern me? i ignored her because i had issues of my own. It became personal for us all when one day, this professor gave us an assignment and when people started complaining about how much research it would require, she decided to help us out by giving us the names of some websites where we could go for help. As she wrote them down on the board, this ITK raised her hands. "Dr Brown, i don't think it is appropriate for you to be giving out names of those particular websites because they are personally ran and are not supposed to be used for researches of any kind" see me see wahala o! You should have heard the heap of insults everybody started throwing on this girl. Everybody was united in insulting her. Hispanics o, Japenese, Chineses, Americans and even some Pakistans. everybody just started insulting her. But which one be my own? before the woman even clean the list from the board, i don write am down sharp sharp. I forgot all about the whole thing and the semester came to an end. On the day we were supposed to turn in our final papers, ITK walked in without the usual ceremony and asked Dr Brown if she could have a word with her. Both of them stepped outside and suddenly we started hearing their voices. Quiet reigned in the classroom as everybody started listening to what they were saying.

ITK- I don't feel like i have learnt anything in this class. You didn't show up for lectures a lot of times, even when you did show up all you do is give out a list of websites. You weren't a good professor and half the things you teach do not stick. and just so you know, i am not the only one who feels that way. a lot of the students do. Everybody in the class actually. We have all talked about it and we feel the same way. so...

PROF- Ms ITK, this is the last day of class. If you had any issues with my lectures, you were free to drop the class. Well, there is nothing to do about it now...

Say what?!! I was pissed off like hell! see this girl want come put sand sand for my garri o! with my Naija mentality, I thought that if this woman got mad, she would fail us all. At this stage, they were out there arguing like crazy. Itk kept on repeating that she wasn't the only one who felt that way. That the whole class did. Everybody in the class were looking at each other going "what is she talking about?", "is she crazy?", "this girl don lost her damn mind". okay, i admit that Dr Brown was not the best prof. she was lazy as hell and even came to class with white powder all over her neck. For real. she was absent most of the time and she did give a bunch of websites as her lessons. (But when did 'we all' have that kind of discussion?) And as a girl who had schooled in the great Naija before, i could handle anything they threw at me and i handled her. it was nothing to me and i was getting my A. At least i thought so until this Itk come bring this rubbish come.
All of a sudden, Dr Brown stormed into the room and went "Ms Itk has brought to my attention that you all(motions with hand)think that I am a bad professor, that you have learnt nothing from this class and that you all are going to report me to the school administration". Yawa don gas. "I am going to give you all an opportunity to speak your minds so, let me hear it. Does any of you agree or are cohorts to this...complaint?" E be like say nor be only me dey fear F9 because everybody started shaking their heads no and looking at ITK with eyes to kill. "I'm waiting..." i look around and see that nobody is going to speak up so i decide to.

ME- Excuse me Dr Brown, i have something to say

DB- Then get on with it Ms Bibi.

Me- Actually i have something to say to Ms Itk.

DB- Hmm Hmmm

ME- Ms Itk do you know me? Do you know my name? have we ever had a conversation outside or even inside this classroom? so how can you say that 'we all' talked about it and said the same thing. i don't know where you got all these opinions that you say we all share from but please, i do not share those opinions. I personally thought the class was good and so was the professor but that is just my opinion. so please speak for yourself.

As i was speaking, people were shaking their heads and echoing "thats right, you tell her". Anyways, i left that class with an A and made an enemy i guess because since that day, whenever i see her, she gives me this cold look. I also heard that she got a C. Guess she wasn't an ITK after all huh? But who cares? I don't. lol. shoot! my fingers are numb. this is so hard. *sigh* i guess i'll continue on the next post.

By the way, i was supposed to leave you guys with my fave song for now. knocks you down by Keri Hilson, Kanye West and Neyo but i can't seem to figure out how to download songs from youtube. help? anyone?

I'M BACK

Hey my blog family! I have missed y'all! Long time no see o! For real! (okay i'm going to stop with the exclamation points now cos i'm sure you all get my point. lol) Anyways I want to use this venue to say thanks for your comments on my previous posts but there was one particular comment that had me going, Who? Me? Take a peak and see what I’m talking about.

awwww, cant wait for u to come bac,u r ma fave blogger of all time, i always relate to ur posts tho i neva leav any comments plus i so lurrvveee the nuggets of wisdom on ur blog as in the quotes….- posted by anonymous

Did y’all see that? Me? Fave blogger? Of all time? You relate to my posts? Really? Awwwww, anonymous, whoever you are thank you so much. I appreciate the luv.
So, this morning I was so determined to blog and I got the PC all set and clicked on create posts. My fingers went to the keyboard and I couldn’t type a word. My inspiration was gone. So I shoved the computer down and went to work. Now I’m back and I still don’t know what to talk to you guys about but I miss blogging so here goes,
My mini vac was great, thanks for asking lol. I sat by the river, I soaked my feet in salted water and I relaxed. Not to mention ate some gourmet food. Hehehe. And just so you can see what kind of mood I’m in right now, I brought some pictures of the view from my room.



Beautiful isn't it?
so, that's it for now i guess. okay, i know this doesn't qualify as a real post but still, it's something right?

I'LL MISS YOU

Hey y'all, whats good? you wondering what the topic is all about right? well, i am kinda going on a mini vacation today. it wasn't really a big deal cos i thought i would still be able to use a pc there but i just found out that they have no internet connection at the resort. Neither do they have tmobile service so i can't use my phone either. yeah, sad. i called them to find out and they were talking about how the environment of the resort is all about spending time with yourself away from all the distractions. the guy on the phone even told me "ma'am, i'm sure that if you wanted to sit in front of the computer, you would just stay home and wouldn't bother coming here" i was too depressed to come up with a snappy comeback for him. *sigh*. Anyways, i'll miss you guys. try not to post anything interesting this weekend. i'll be back easter day though, so i guess its not that bad. but before i go, let me share a lil snippets of my week so far

Aunty J called me on sunday and found out that i wasn't working monday and since she is a shopaholic, a heavily pregnant one at that, she asks me to accompany her to Nordstrom since they were having a crazy shoe sale. i agree and she picked me up. on our way going, she takes the beltway and as we were coming off, a police car notifies us to pull down. we did and the officer sits in his car, i guess looking her car info in his little computer thingy. as we sit in the car waiting for the officer to come up,

AUNT J- oh ooh. which kind thing be this now? make this yeye man nor give me ticket o! Bibi, if he give me ticket just play along

ME- play along with wetin?

AUNT J- with me now. i nor get money for that kind wahala so just do as i say. he dey come

the police officer comes up, he's white, tall, nice looking.

PO- ma'am, licence and registration please. you kno you were speeding right?

AUNT J- i was?

PO- yep, you were. that will cost you $80

AUNT J- Oh God! okay *sniffs*

PO- and your left traffic indicators off too. that will cost you $120

AUNT J- ye kpa mi! (i am dead)

she begins to cry hysterically. real tears!

PO- ma'am, are you okay?

AUNT J- no i'm not okay o! i am dead! sir, you have killed me

she's sobbing seriously now and i'm just patting her shoulders going "it's okay aunt j, it's okay"

AUNT J- sir, look at me. look at me very well.

Po- i'm looking ma'am

AUNT J- today will be my last day as a happy woman because my husband will finish me today. he'll beat me to death. and my baby...my baby. he warned me not to drive his car but i didn't listen. he'll just kill me today. how can i get $200? i don't work, i don't hacve any money anywhere, no where to borrow from. what will i do?

at this stage i'm amazed. aunt J is crying like a little girl. tears are running down her cheeks and all. she's sniffing, stuttering and if i didn't know what she was up to, i would believe her act

Po- take it easy ma'am, it'll be alright. so, you husband will beat you up because of the tickets is that it?

AUNT J- *nods*

PO- do you want to file a police report? we can have him arrested if you file a report...

AUNT J- and who will take care of me and my baby? no, if i didn't take his car, he wouldn't have to hurt me but now....

PO- okay ma'am, i'll let the tickets go. just...don't drive this car in this condition again okay?

AUNT J- *sniffing* okay, thank you so much. you just saved me and my baby. thank you.

I was flabbergasted i tell you! Aunt J recovered as soon as we hit the road. and she was so happy she saved 200 bucks. what an actress!

PS- Does anybody know the angel who God appointed to put dimples on babies in heaven? because i feel cheated. all my brothers. all 8 of them have dimples and me? none. not even a hint of one. i feel cheated. doesn't it annoy you when you see guys with the most beautiful, naturally curved eyebrow, and long lashes? i mean why do they have it. they do nothing with it. oh well, i compensate for my lack of dimples in so many other areas...hehehe. Happy holy thursday, good friday, something saturday and easter sunday. And HAPPY BUFFDAY IN ADVANCE BSNC

OH NO HE DIDN'T, AWWW HELL NO SHE DIDN'T

Hey y’all what’s up? Weird topic huh? I know you guys are expecting some drama right about now but I am a drama free girl. I can hear BSNC laughing right now. *sticks tongue out* wharever girl. Anyways, Oh no he didn’t is kinda about my weekend. Which was going just great until I got a call from asshole. Asshole is a boyfriend of a friend. No, scratch that. An ex-boyfriend of a friend. Since ex-boyfriend and I aren’t at all close, I was curious when my phone rang and it was him. The conversation kinda went like this

AH- Hey Bibi, whats up?

Bibi- Nothing much. Who’s this?

AH- So you don’t recognize my voice huh?

Bibi- If I did I wouldn’t be asking now would i?

AH- Bibi Bibi, its me AH

Bibi- AH? Oh hey, whats up?

AH- Nothing much. Are you at work?

Bibi- No

AH- You’re at home?

Bibi- Nope

AH- So where are you?

Bibi- You called to ask me where I’m at?

AH- No, not really

Bibi- So, what did you call for?

AH- Haba, can’t I just call to check on you?

Bibi- Did you?

AH- Somehow

Bibi- Look, I don’t have time to be playing twenty one questions right now so just say what you want to say and be done with it.

Did I mention that I don’t like Asshole? I don’t. I just don’t like his triffling ass. There was just always something sneaky about him. Anyways…

AH- Well, you know your girl and I broke up right?

Bibi- Oh you did?

AH- yeah

Bibi- That’s too bad. So you were saying?

AH- Yeah, since babe and I are no longer together and I know you don’t have a boyfriend, I was thinking that we could….you know hook up

What?!! are you seriously serious right now? Imagine the stupid nerve of the asshole! Well, I won't go into details (long story) but let’s just say that asshole will not be calling me again. Hehehe


So, a couple of months ago, a friend of mine started going out with this guy but she was always complaining about things like, I’m not physically attracted to him, he’s not tall enough for me and silly stuff like that. I told her to stop wasting his time if she wasn’t feeling him but you know how we girls like to have some kind of nice guys on reserve incase the bad boy dumps us. lol. Anyways, a couple of weeks into the relationship and the guy introduces her to his friends. She calls me up that night and she starts talking about how cute one of the guys Tee is. She goes on and on and on about how he was staring at her all through the night and how he was feeling her. Now let me mention that my friend is a Nigerian but she was born and brought up here so she kinda doesn’t know how things work with Naija boys. Let me also mention that these two guys are bestest of friends. They grew up in Nigeria together, went to secondary and uni together and are now living here. so, I told my girl to forget about it because from having 8 brothers I know that 99% of Nigerian guys will not let a girl come between a good friendship. Instead, the both of them will fool you along and play you in the end. *ouch* so, I explained this to mi girl and she seemed to understand it. She never mentioned Tee again and her relationship with Nice boy went on. couple of weeks later, she calls me again and convinces me to go on a double date. I went because of the promise of ice-cream. *purring* lol. Anyways I show up there and I fell in lust. Now, this guy ain’t just all that in looks he is ALL that and then some more in charisma. He holds your attention when he walks into a room and all that. So the night goes on and we found a lot in common. He takes my number and all the usual cat and mouse game. A couple of days later, I was talking to my friend and I tell her that I think Tee’s cool. You know what she says? “oh he already has a girl in Jersey and he said he wasn’t feeling you” oh really? He didn’t act like no hooked guy and he sure didn’t act like he wasn’t feeling me. Anyways, I sha forget about Tee (it was hard though!) and moved on. Another couple of weeks later, a mutual friend of ours had a bash and lo and behold, look who showed up. Tee. He walks up to me and goes “hey, remember me?” I said to myself, yeah right like I can forget. But I say “of course, hey Tee whats up?" We hug and surprisingly enough I caught babe staring at us. she wasn’t looking like your girl will look and tease you about it. She was looking like she didn’t like what was going on. I brushed it off and ended up spending the rest of the evening hanging with Tee. He bought me drinks, we danced and just had fun. Didn’t babe tell me that he wasn’t feeling me? He sure as hell ain't acting like it. So we’re about to leave when he asks if he could drop me off at home. I said yes and get in his car. Next thing I know, babe runs up to us(on high heels!)

Babe- where are you guys going?

Tee- nowhere, I’m taking Bibi home though

Babe-Bibi, why is Tee taking you home? Jen lives close to you, she can take you home

Bibi- Thanks but I’m gonna go with Tee

Babe- (laughs) why? You’re just giving him trouble. Your house is really far from his

Bibi- Tee, am I giving you trouble?

Tee- (laughs) Nope, tell Jen that I want to take Bibi home in a first class car.

We all laugh to cover up the awkwardness and we left. On our way home, Tee explains that he lost his phone and contacts the very next day he met me and couldn’t get my number again. I ask him why he didn’t get it from babe. He said that he tried but she refused to give bacause I had told her not to give my digits out. Hmmmm…. Again, i brush off that feeling. That night Tee asks me out and i said okay. the next day, babe calls me

Babe- so....what was up with you flirting with Tee all night?

Me- Nuthin much. you have it right though, we were just flirting

Babe- I told you he has a girlfriend already. i thought you don't do taken guys?

Me- To me he doesn't have a girlfriend because he said he doesn't have one

Babe- isn't that what all guys say? that they don't have a girlfriend?

Me- Babe, i'm taking him at his word. i'm not about to plant a girl on him when he says he doesn't have one now am i? anyways we're going out tomorrow

What i heard was not at all what i expected. Lai lai. My girl freaked.

Babe- what?! why will you go out with him? he's just trying to play you

Me- Babe, relax. i'm not exactly trying to marry him either so...

Babe- he isn't taking you seriously Bibi. he already has a girlfriend, he said that you were too big for him becaus you know he likes skinny girls right?

Me- (laugh)Babe, Tee is not the first and neither will he be the last guy who's taste change after meeting me. by the way, did he tell you all this stuff?

Babe- no but he told nice guy. he said that he's just being friendly towards you and that he doesn't want you to think he was interested. call him and cancel now because he doesn't like you. i'm telling you, call him and cancel.

The lady doth protesth too much don't ya think? and at this stage i'm thinking "awww hell no she didn't" i'm beginning to get upset right now but i decide to keep a cool head

ME- babe, we're just going on a date. a date not marriage and i think you're over reacting. you've been telling me all this load of stuff that clashes with what I've seen so far

BABE- so what are you trying to say? That I'm lying to you?

Me- I'm not "trying" to tell you anything babe, I'm telling you to back off.
That conversation pissed me off so much but shit happens right?

MY THREESOME NIGHTMARE

Hey y'all, what's good? So, I was going through Scribble's blog when I came across this post about his threesome (my crush's a freak. lol). Anyways, before I left Naija, I decided to have me some fun. Hehehe, I know your mind is in the gutter right now. Sorry to disappoint you but fun for me came in the form of my cousin Kay. She was a hustler. One of the higgest class. So when I decided to stay with Kay during my trip, my uncles freaked. "She'll ruin you" they said. "She's bad influence" they cried. But being my stubborn self, I refused to stay with any of them and moved in with Kay. And in those weeks I had the most fun that I have ever had till date.
Kay lived by her phone. If you ask her what she planned on doing that day in the morning, she would say "its just morning. Don't worry, my phone will ring soon." Her phone is her life line and really, the phone never dissapointed. There was always something to do, somewhere to go, someone to meet. During those weeks, I met Tu baba, Dbanj (just for a minute), Sunny Neji, Paul Play, RMD (yum) and a whole bunch of other people. I did so many things that I never would have done before. Among these good experiences were a couple of....nasty ones. One of which l am about to share with y'all, my blogsville family. lol
One day, Kay and I were getting our hair and some fake tattoos done at the Ikeja bridge when her phone rang. From the conversation, I knew we weren't going home like we planned anymore.

KAY- Bibi, that was Idiot
(idiot being a "friend" of Kay's. He was supposed to give her some money for her rent and school fees)

KAY- He wants me to come and pick up the money now

ME- Okay, so I'll see you back at the house later

KAY- You don't wanna come with me?

ME- Is that okay? Cos I don't want to interrupt you and your bobo when you're showing your appreciation o!

KAY- Which kind appreciation? I beg e. Make we dey go.

And went we did. When we got to idiot's house, I felt something wasn't right. The house was really dark, and it stunk of egbo. I looked at my cousin.

ME- Kay, you dey smell that one so?

KAY- Nor worry. We go just collect the money dey go

Yeah right! the lower part of the house was empty so we climbed up. When we got to the living room, we started hearing some weird, sexual noises. You know, all the moans and grunts and groans. lol. Funny thing is, the sounds weren't coming from 2 or 3 or 4 people. I think there were like about 6 people in that room. They were scattered around in couples. 2 were on the couch, 2 were on the floor and the others were on another couch I think. This was at about 8pm and I guess they didn't see us or didn't bother about us.
At that time, idiot came out from an inner room.

IDIOT- Hey Kay! What's cranking girl?

At this point, let me say that Idiot lives in the US and he was home for xmas. So, he was constantly fonneing.

IDIOT- And you brought your bootilicious sister too. (Rubbing hands) I like that!

KAY- What's going on here?

IDIOT- Nothing much, just a lil group fun. Hahahahahaha

I realized that Idiot was high! Dude was just laughing like a hyena.

KAY- Hmmm...can I get the money now Idiot?

IDIOT- Sure, come on.

We follow him into this room and I realize its a bedroom. With beds and all. Idiot sits on the bed.

KAY- Come on Idiot, its getting late

IDIOT- Since when did that matter? Come over here and give me some love baby girl

KAY- In front of my sister?

Me- oh that's fine, I'll just step outside

Idiot practically jumps on the door and locks it

IDIOT- You ain't going nowhere sexy. I want you to see what your sister will do to get that money

ME- Oh don't worry about that. I have a very good imagination so I can imagine what she'll do. Don't need to see it.

IDIOT- You're not only going to see it, you'll be doing it too

SAY WHAT?!! You have got to be shitting me! Hell no! Oh God, we have got to get out of here! All these thoughts run through my mind.

KAY- stop playing Idiot.

IDIOT- I ain't playing bitch. U both get on the bed!

They both get into an argument and at this stage I'm thinking, okay, this isn't working and I need to get outta here.

KAY- Come on Bibi, we're leaving

IDIOT- No you ain't. You're gonna stay here and give me what I want. The gateman knows not to let anyone out. This will happen. Get on the bed!
Next thing I know, idiot grabs me and shoves his tongue down my throat. He was so excited and high at the same time and that kiss was one I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. In plain words, it sucked. Yuck! Just thinking about it makes me want to throw up in my throat. Ewwwwww. Anyways, i decided to play it cool.

ME- Whats your rush? since it seems we're gonna be here for a while why don't we do it properly

IDIOT- What d'you mean?

ME- Nothing. let's just take our time with it okay?

Hoping to calm him down, i take off my shoes and then my top(thankfully, i had a tube camisole underneath). Immediately he saw my tattoo, he pounced on me. This isn't going like i planned. I look at my cousin and ask her with my eyes to do something. She also takes her top off(unluckily for her, she has nothing but her bra underneath) my cousin is a size 40smthg in bra sizes so the size of her without her shirt sends Idiot out of his head. He was just so pathetic.

ME- I'm just going to use the bathroom, i'll be right back

KAY- I need to use the bathroom too

At this stage we were smiling so hard i felt my face crack. He looked suspicious for a while until Kay touched him here and there and told him

KAY- You know you're the best i ever had and i will be back.

IDIOT- what about her?

ME- I'm not going anywhere yet, i want to see what you have for me

IDIOT- okay but be back in 5

KAY- we will.

we left our bags, our shoes and my top (at least Kay put her's back on) i just couldn't wait to get the heck up out of there. since Kay had been there before, she knew a road through the back fence and we climbed through and ran like the devil was on our heels (which he was if you ask me) luckily enough for us, i had some vex money in my jean pocket and we boarded a cap with bare feet. the cabbie didn't even look at us twice so i guess he's used to seeing stuff like that. when we got home, i climbed in the shower and stayed there for like 5 hours and brushed my teeth with almost a tube of toothpaste.
I was kinda worried that Idiot's pride would make him come after us later but Kay was "friends" with the commisioner of police then and he had some cops go warn him off and that was the last we heard from Idiot.

P.S- funny thing is Kay got that rent money the very next day from someone else. A whole lot more than Idiot was going to give her anyways. *sigh* fond memories, fond memories.

P.S.S- What is it with me and my molestation stories these days? i have no clue. maybe i'll share some more because trust me, there are a lot of them. the price we pay for being beautiful. lol