June 10, 2009

UNDERAGE, IN LABOUR

Hey y'all, whats good jare? wetin dey happen? i know i have been kind of a disappearing act lately but the stress that comes with leaving a job and getting a new one has gotten to me. but i have it under lockdown now so, i'll be fine. And because of my long voyage from blogsville, i haven't been commenting on people's blog but i'm back now. kinda. lol.
anyways, last week i went to an aunts house to take her shopping for some shoes. this aunt of mine has three teenage boys and they had a friend staying over for the summer. i thought teenage boys were supposed to be gangly, awkward and shy? immediately i saw their friend Tyler, i was dismissed of that motion. quick quick! Tyler started staring at me the minute i walked in the door. and i don't mean the annoying stare but rather the nerve racking kind of stare that you feel at the back of your neck. and it would have helped if Tyler looked like the average 18 year old boy. He doesn't! He has the kind of body a 27 year old man would be proud of. Plus he has it imprinted in his head that i am the love of his life. na wa o! so like i said, last week i went over to their house and i could already feel his eyes on me. Now, I have a lot of male cousins and nephews so i'm used to their friends having crushes on me. i am also used to catching them staring at my boobs or my ass but the thing is, immediately i catch them, they take their eyes away. But Tyler? Tyler did not take his eyes away o! Rather, he stared at me some more then gave me a cute smile. i was amused but i thought it would end there. Lai lai. This boy waited for me outside.

Tyler- Hi

Me- Hey, You going somewhere?

T- no, i was just waiting for you

Me- really? why?

T- i think you know why Bibi

Me- Actually i don't

T- really? well, if you're going to act all missish about it, i'll come out blunt with it. i think i'm in love with you

At this stage, i was in shock. not because of what he said, but because of how he said it! he was even looking me straight in the eyes. How bold!

Me- Errr...how old are you exactly Tyler?

T- I just turned 18. why?

Me- i don't know if your friends told you but i'm way older than 18

T- so?

Me- so, you're too young

T- That doesn't matter. i'm feeling you and i know you're feeling me too.

see me see trouble o. anyway, to cut a long story short, dude keeps on bugging my life. and the funny thing is that, i find myself thinking "if he weren't so young..." too bad i don't do teenagers.

so, on saturday i was in a family friends house, who happens to be pregnant. And i was over at her house when she decided to fall into labour. funny thing is, i came there with the bus and her husband used the car to work. so we were carless. I quickly called a cab and they said they would be there in 45 minutes! she would have had the baby by then for Chrissakes! she told me to go knock on her neighbour's door and ask if they would drop her off at the hospital.

NEIGHBOUR 1
Knock' knock'

Potbelly dude- yeah, what u want?

Me- Errr....your neighour? my friend...she kinda needs a ride to the hospital because she just feel into labour.

Potbelly dud- which neighbour?

Me- the Kenyan lady who lives downstairs?

Potbelly dude- Oh, the dark skinned lady with the big boobs?

Me- (nods)

Potbelly dude- damn! she pregnant? for real? didn't know that. Damn! all y'all ladies just knocked up these days mehn. can't find a single lady who ain't got a kid anymore. thats messed up son.

Me- right. so, what about the ride?

Potbelly dude- Ehm...you gon have to call a cab or something for that shit babe. ain't got time for that. straight up.

Me- thanks


NEIGHBOUR 2

Knock' Knock'

Big hair chic- yeah?

Me- Hi, sorry to wake you up but my friend who lives downstairs said to ask you if you can give her a ride to the hospital cos she's kind of in labour right now.

Big hair- she's in labour?

Me- Err...yeah

Big hair- Awww shit. okay, well i have to walk pookey first before i can talk her. my baby hasn't been out today. so, i'll just take her for a quick stroll then i'll come take her to the hospital okay?

SAY WHAT?!! is it just me or did in just say that she is in labour?

NEIGHBOUR 3

Knock' Knock'

same ol story just this time he told me to leave him the hell alone. Thats most American neigbours for you. lol

47 comments:

naija shawty said...

lmao. i swear Tyler get liver. sho! his name kinda suggests he is not nigerian smhw. oh well.

i hope ur friend dlivered safely oh. as for american neighbours, i swear pple are not even considerate. fashi the first guy but that woman, who has put to bed before, shu have understood. na wa oh.

hope u like ur new job

juiceegal said...

Naija shawty ahn ahn......i was spsd 2 b 1st nw......lol

Tinu said...

naija shawty my twinnie was supposed to be first!!take time o!!!!heheheheh!
oya twinnie just manage second!!!
3rd!
lmao tyler that boy is brave!!!
I hope ur friend was ok o!!!I can't even imagine nigerian neighbours doing something like that!!only in emelika!
Bibi glad ur back!!!!

juiceegal said...

Bibi u know i just checked on u earlier today sef,was wonderin y u disappeard like that.Hope u like ur new job??
That tyler boy has liver o.......but u cnt blame him now...pple like ashton kutcher and nick cannon inspire him.
Lol at "That doesn't matter. i'm feeling you and i know you're feeling me too."
These American children dnt have respect for their elders again o...lol
Nawa for American neighbours o,if it was naija mehn,u wnt even need to complete ur sentence sef before the person wld have rushed in to bring out the car keys,they wld even be abusin u sef that u are
that you are walking too slow.

leggy said...

i really dnt understand these american neighbours....in naija everybody will want to help out..i just tire sef.in this country its all about you and thats not good at all.inukwa walk dog?na wa oh.

anyway,i like that tyler...im feeling him oh!!but i didnt like wen he said he knows that u r feeling hm too that sounds too cocky.lol

hope u like ur job?welcome back!

Tigeress said...

The young boys of now a days- they have liver. And mehn some of them are cute!! lol!

So what happened to ur friend in labour?

Funms-the rebirth said...

all these young boys... they want to make a sister go to jail.... and i can imagine his body...temptation!
wow at ur friend's neighbours.... the stupid one that wanted to walk her dog...like wtf??????
hope ur friend and the baby are doing good

blogoratti said...

Welcome back and gud to hear you got your new job under Lock down.

We'll talk about Tyler later....

Hope your friend is alright though, neighbors can be real funny at times.

miz-cynic said...

omo dem hash in dat yanks no b smal o.in wan wlk dog.17 yr old boy wey toast me in d plane nko

*Diane* said...

lmao @ Tyler. Very bold.
And your friend's neighbors are THE WORST!!
Hope your friend delivered safely...

aunaptural said...

That Tyler is a bold sumthin! Watch him come for you in a few years. Then what shall you say, enh? LOL!

Errr.. Ummm... *looks around comment section* Don't go blaming those people's lack of home training on them being American. LOL! I promise we're not all like that :-) Rude is just rude and stupid is just stupid. I mean, who the hell turns down a woman in labor? Sorry, that just hit a nerve. LOL! That mess would have NEVER gone down in my very American (and West Indian) neighborhood in Brooklyn.

Hope Mom and baby are doing well.

chayoma said...

"T- That doesn't matter. i'm feeling you and i know you're feeling me too."
lol!
he get liver+kidney+ god knows what...
naa waa!

Sulihp said...

eeehhheeeennn!!!*clap hands like a market woman* see this shildren of nowadays oh.. ha! i was dying of laughter, i don't even know if i would have stood there to listen to the boys speech sef...

Walk her pookey?... i'm speechless. talk about inhumanity, na wa oh, only in america will dog be more important than a human being...i hope she had a safe delivery in the end oh

~Sirius~ said...

LOL at that Yougin- Nerves I tell you.
All these little children of nowadays

Seriously?!

As for the neighbour incident- Not suprising.

I hope she got to the hospital on time.

UnderCover07 said...

Lol @ Tyler, dude is a go-getter jo! All this kids of nowadays, them don chop liver.

So none of them cld offer to give her a ride? Dis is y I dnt lyk Amerix jo, 9ja everybdy wld be offering u and wanting to help.
Imagine dt one wnts to walk her dog? Mschewww...lol

Congrats to ur friend o jare!

Nice Anon said...

the title made me think you had a baby.

Sweetnothin' said...

Lol... "if he weren't so young..." too bad i don't do teenagers.
dont know why you wasted your time asking around,this is AM-erica, it's always about individuals and no one else!!!1

Omo Oba said...

hope the baby made it out ok.
and these young children of these days, dem no even fear.

BBB said...

thats crazy all those neighboure being so mean..
ah ah the lady is in labour for God sake and u want to give ur dog a walk????

can never happen in naija... i love my country.

him the dude id sprung on u.. ah ah bibi give him chance now haha, he might be ur missing rib.. hahah
sorry just too funny....

Adaeze said...

oh my that guy got liver...
watch out! and let us know if u ever indulge in that temptation lol...watch out he might just be sprung on u cuz ur hot and older...In love what? its not possible to be in love without knowin u..
and those neighbours! i am just shocked.

cerberus said...

I chokedo on my roll when i read about tyler

rethots said...

Hmmm, but on a more serious note....thot your age was just a few numbers more than his. Afterall, what is that babes are said to want in 'their' guys??? Boldness.

Abi you are shy? Oops,"...don't do teenagers."

akaBaGucci said...

LOL... Perhaps.... Age is only a figment of imagination.. and dude certainly feels 27ish!

Good Naija Girl said...

Welcome.

Yes, o, Tyler is a bold one. Did he really say "missish"? lol at being in love with you. Why couldn't he just say you were fine and not add yeye mention of love into it?

I'm worried though: if he's this cocky at 18, what will he be like at 25? His big head won't be able to fit in the doors!

Regarding your friend who went into labour: imagine the neighbours having those sort of conversations with you when you just told them that somebody is in labour! Gosh! It's not like you knocked on their door to chat them up.

I hope she's ok? Has she had the baby by now?

BSNC said...

lol you just broke the poor boy heart.. i am feeling you and you know you are feeling me..(how e take know)

naijagirl said...

hahahaa, i expected the first two neighbors to give the response of the third. "The black lady with the big boobs"....wat a fine way t describe someone. if she is ready to pop, what was the first neighbor thinking? that she is fat or has pot belly? good story, wonder how your friend eventually made it to the hospital.

as for Tyler....hahaha, teenage hormones.

Bibi said...

NAIJA SHAWTY- yep, he isn't Nigerian. he's African American actually. yes o! i am a new aunt. again. she had a safe delivery thank God. I don't know about the job yet o! i'm still getting a feel of it. Babe, pookey is a dog o, nor a child. imagine that! lol thanks!

JUICCEGAL- i saw your check up jare. thanks girl. the job, i'm still looking at. lol @ walking too slow. nor mind Tyler, nor be only feel am. because i tell am say he get cute eyes nia cause all this wahala so. mscheeeeeeeeeew

TINU
yes o! my friend is doing good. no thanks to her neighbours.

LEGGY- Tyler is kinda cocky but in a cute way. lol. nor mind the yeye woman jare. nor be only dog.

TIGERESS- lol. we ended up getting an ambulance. she did good though, now the mother of a brand new baby girl. lol

FUMMS THE REBIRTH- nor mind all these walking temptations. well, i have God on my side. lol. yep, baby and mother are doing just fine. thanks

BLOGORATTI- Thanks mehn. About Tyler...later. my friend is doing good thanks. the neighbours' incident was only funny after we came back from the hospital. during that time, i just felt like punching mouths. lol

MIZ CYNIC- 17 Yr old you say? these children dey craze o! that one nor stammer die?

DIANE- Bold indeed. My friend is doing well, thanks girl. she loves ur outfits too by the way. lol

Bibi said...

AUNAPTURAL- In a few years, i wouldn't mind Tyler coming after me then *wink* lol. glad to hear your neighbours are not as bad as that. mum and child are doing good. thanks

CHAYOMA- lol. i wonder who feed am all the liver and kidney.

SULHIP- miss market woman, i hear you jare. these pple dey craze sometimes. she did okay in the end though

SIRIUS- nerves indeed. and in abundance too. lol.yes she did get there on time, we thank God.

UNDERCOVER07- go getter ko, go getter ni. make he nor go getter reach my side o! lol. we got thee just in time.

NICE ANON- i beg you o! put me for ground, because i nor wear pant at all! baby ke? not now o! lol. nice anon na wa o. but are you disappointed? lol

SWEETNOTHIN- just wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt but like you said, it is always about the individual here

OMO OBA- yes o! the babe came just in time. beautiful too. lol. nor mind this yeye boy. he want use me learn how to toast girl

Bibi said...

BBB- missing rib ko, missing flesh ni. nor be only. true. this can never happen in naija

ADAEZE- i am on fasting and prayer to avoid that temptation. lol.

CERBERUS- really? he's that hot? lol

RETHOTS- it is just a couple of years but still, 18? i don't think so. i love boldness in a guy but cockyness is on a whole new level. lol

AKABAGUCCI- he might feel 27ish but that don't change the reality. he's a teenager. too bad though.figment of the imagination ke? its actually a shadow that keeps looking over your shoulder

GOODNAIJAGIRL- imagine that o! i wonder how he'll be at 21 sef.

BSNC- see me see wahala o! help me ask am that one jare. yeye pikin

NAIJAGIRL- thanks girl, we eventually got an ambulance. i was pissed off sha. becos i just wasted my precious time talking to all those...people. lol

Plussize Goddess said...

hehehehehe...are you sure you're not seeing Tyler behind our back? this one you're saying he has the body of a 27 yr old. na wa o! those neighbours dey kolo.

My World said...

Bibi,you don come again,abi?
IMAO.........

RocNaija said...

Dem folk need to move and get new neighbours.. WTF!!

PS.. Why didn't you just call an ambulance??

Bibi said...

PLUSSIZE GODDESS- which kin see am for your back. na crime to compliment the small boy again? i nor dey see Tyler o! so i beg put me for ground becos i nor wear pant. lol!

DA ROC- i didn't call one becos her doctor wanted her at a specific hospital but an ambulance would have taken her to the nearest hospital. 2 different places. Although i wonder why the doctor requested that.

Miss Natural said...

That's hilarious! tyler does have liver and like funms said, these guys that want to make a sister go to jail lol.
As for the neighbours, that's ridiculous. I guess being your brother's keeper is dark age mentality.

Beulah! said...

That boy is a very nutty boy, no respect for his seniors!!...lol. Hope u got help for ur preggie aunt afterall?

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

mehn, that 18 year old boy is BOLD.

goodness, neighbor 1 is a creep!

Neighbor 2 and the dog...

And, sometimes it can definitely be that way with some neighbors in Yankee, but not all are bad, thanks be to God.

The Sassy, Significant, & Special...Blessing said...

Hey there! LOL...I dont blame the boy tho...he saw a fyne babe and decided to try his luck...can't be mad at that. For real tho, these young ones are growing wings now n dayz!

Chi-Chi said...

Those neighbors are pure stupid
and really all this oyinbo people dat's how they are

aloted said...

lol at tyler...boys of nowadays..

nawa for ur friend's neighbours o,...u for just call ambulance for her...how is she sha

Geebee said...

Tyler sure's got loads of guts but then what do you expect? The big stature tends to fool lotsa kids these days. When you got a bodyof a 27 year old,you wouldn't be a bit scared to ask even Mrs Obama out. lol. . . and those neighbours? What the hell? Do I sense a bit of racism here or something? Anyways, how did your pregnant friend pull through? Been a while. Kinda missed this blog all the while I was off air. Feels good to be back.

Honeywell said...

Are you friggin serious?? ok, the first guy i can even try and make small excuse for (he realised she was pregnant, so no chance for him again). The last person was at least honest. but the lady that wanted to walked her dog first? wow.... and as for tyler, abeg stay clear oh... its like that stalkers start...

My World said...

lmao!
I hope she did make it to the hospital,thou?
As 4 Tyler,all I can say is wow!!!

pink-satin said...

people are wicked o!!how did she get to the hospital then?

Naija bad boi.... said...

cool post..nice read....tyler's got guts meehn....
so wat happened wiv ur friend....?

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Buttercup said...

Wow @ Tyler..hehehe! The young shall grow, huh? Na wa for them neighbours o! How you been, Bibizzle?

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