UNDERAGE, IN LABOUR

Hey y'all, whats good jare? wetin dey happen? i know i have been kind of a disappearing act lately but the stress that comes with leaving a job and getting a new one has gotten to me. but i have it under lockdown now so, i'll be fine. And because of my long voyage from blogsville, i haven't been commenting on people's blog but i'm back now. kinda. lol.
anyways, last week i went to an aunts house to take her shopping for some shoes. this aunt of mine has three teenage boys and they had a friend staying over for the summer. i thought teenage boys were supposed to be gangly, awkward and shy? immediately i saw their friend Tyler, i was dismissed of that motion. quick quick! Tyler started staring at me the minute i walked in the door. and i don't mean the annoying stare but rather the nerve racking kind of stare that you feel at the back of your neck. and it would have helped if Tyler looked like the average 18 year old boy. He doesn't! He has the kind of body a 27 year old man would be proud of. Plus he has it imprinted in his head that i am the love of his life. na wa o! so like i said, last week i went over to their house and i could already feel his eyes on me. Now, I have a lot of male cousins and nephews so i'm used to their friends having crushes on me. i am also used to catching them staring at my boobs or my ass but the thing is, immediately i catch them, they take their eyes away. But Tyler? Tyler did not take his eyes away o! Rather, he stared at me some more then gave me a cute smile. i was amused but i thought it would end there. Lai lai. This boy waited for me outside.

Tyler- Hi

Me- Hey, You going somewhere?

T- no, i was just waiting for you

Me- really? why?

T- i think you know why Bibi

Me- Actually i don't

T- really? well, if you're going to act all missish about it, i'll come out blunt with it. i think i'm in love with you

At this stage, i was in shock. not because of what he said, but because of how he said it! he was even looking me straight in the eyes. How bold!

Me- Errr...how old are you exactly Tyler?

T- I just turned 18. why?

Me- i don't know if your friends told you but i'm way older than 18

T- so?

Me- so, you're too young

T- That doesn't matter. i'm feeling you and i know you're feeling me too.

see me see trouble o. anyway, to cut a long story short, dude keeps on bugging my life. and the funny thing is that, i find myself thinking "if he weren't so young..." too bad i don't do teenagers.

so, on saturday i was in a family friends house, who happens to be pregnant. And i was over at her house when she decided to fall into labour. funny thing is, i came there with the bus and her husband used the car to work. so we were carless. I quickly called a cab and they said they would be there in 45 minutes! she would have had the baby by then for Chrissakes! she told me to go knock on her neighbour's door and ask if they would drop her off at the hospital.

NEIGHBOUR 1
Knock' knock'

Potbelly dude- yeah, what u want?

Me- Errr....your neighour? my friend...she kinda needs a ride to the hospital because she just feel into labour.

Potbelly dud- which neighbour?

Me- the Kenyan lady who lives downstairs?

Potbelly dude- Oh, the dark skinned lady with the big boobs?

Me- (nods)

Potbelly dude- damn! she pregnant? for real? didn't know that. Damn! all y'all ladies just knocked up these days mehn. can't find a single lady who ain't got a kid anymore. thats messed up son.

Me- right. so, what about the ride?

Potbelly dude- Ehm...you gon have to call a cab or something for that shit babe. ain't got time for that. straight up.

Me- thanks


NEIGHBOUR 2

Knock' Knock'

Big hair chic- yeah?

Me- Hi, sorry to wake you up but my friend who lives downstairs said to ask you if you can give her a ride to the hospital cos she's kind of in labour right now.

Big hair- she's in labour?

Me- Err...yeah

Big hair- Awww shit. okay, well i have to walk pookey first before i can talk her. my baby hasn't been out today. so, i'll just take her for a quick stroll then i'll come take her to the hospital okay?

SAY WHAT?!! is it just me or did in just say that she is in labour?

NEIGHBOUR 3

Knock' Knock'

same ol story just this time he told me to leave him the hell alone. Thats most American neigbours for you. lol